Better late than never

"Here comes post 25 and I'm still alive!" Sorry, but I couldn't resist.

So yeah this late night blog is to remind you all to "fall back." Yep its time to set the clocks back an hour. Crazy daylight savings time. But I'm sure all your computers are fully aware of this and made the correction already. Just saying cuz most of your alarm clocks aren't as smart. Especially since the beatings to the head trying to teach it to slow the passage of time while we're asleep just doesn't work. Ah well. I really need to get to sleep.

Ciao 'Corpsters

French Blue

Yep that's what they call the new color of our work shirts. They're pretty ugly but I can get used to it. Tomorrow they want us to dress up for Holloween. What a joke. Serious why doesn't dressing up as a disgruntled teamster count? OK I'm not really a teamster.

Well folks I get to sleep late tomorrow so that'll be nice. I am soo bored right now cuz, well, I just got off work if you didn't catch that. Why else would I open up about work?

I'm really forcing this blog at this point so before I type anything I'll regret I better run for it.

Ciao 'Corpsters

Paul is a Stupidhead

He had over a month to do a astronomy assignment and is just starting it now. It's like due some time near now. 3 hours he says. He also like to watch a movie called "True Romance" he says "Its an amazing movie, you'd be {some swear} amazed." Also for some reason he asked some manager at Jewel to change his name to Paulie. He also stabbed his phone and broke it. Now he's using a phone that's like a tank with a wallpaper of a teddy bear. I'll leave judgement to you the people.

Yep its just another boring day. Some team won some game yesterday and nobody went looting. Man, I really wanted a new DVD player... that or find a way to get mine to start working again. Mean ol' DVD player is holding one of my precious monty python DVD's for ransom. How irritating! They're like my children... ok no way I just said that.

There's this kid sitting at the row opposite mine and is like wearing the oldest ear phones I've ever seen. That's back when tan plastic for electronic equipment was cool. There seems to be low bass line I can detect and he's bobbing his head at random intervals. Oh how times have changed when using the computer or electronic devices are now cool. Stupid iPod ruin our mystique.

So yeah my weekend is almost here. Huzzahs all around. Also I think I've figured a lot of the junk that's been bouncing around my head and its about morping time to do something about it.

Ciao 'Corpsters- I will update the site Monday I swear!

Delayed Reaction?

I just got a comment from like 2 weeks ago concerning a change i made pretty recently. I mean seriously... Its good netiquette if you comment within 3 days. If you don't... your chances for commenting are pretty well over unless you've been gone for a month with the peace corps. Yeah seriously.

Well folks I'll blog more tomorrow...

Ciao 'Corpsters

Mad MS Paint Skills

Welcome to my 21st blog. Wow usually that number wouldn't be chosen cuz it doesn't end with a 5 or a 0. Well, 21 is an important number for Americans and if you still haven't figured that out yet you're beyond hope and should go hug a tree.

So yeah what's up with people using MS Paint for all their photographic needs? Its kinda sad when they try to resize a picture and end up with 80 percent of their picture a white blob. Yeah, or try adding class to it by drawing a white box and placing text on it. Yeah, fun.

Of course this was another blog inspired by evesdropping on Paul, but this time its in facebook. Whatever. Just another crappy "whoever has the most friends wins" site. Yeah its all about quality not quantity. Just like spam... What spam makes up in quality it makes up for in quantity. Remember that always children for it shall serve you well.

Me? I use Fireworks for all my crappy artwork. But I can crop and make textual headers like a pro. If it weren't for Dreamweaver, just imagine what kind of crappy sites I... wait scratch that. I'll just show you one day. The original Phlogiston? Crap factory. But hey, it did what I wanted it to... confuse and enfuriate. Of course that is the motto for guenthercorp now if you haven't figured that out or forgot me bragging about it or can't understand really poorly translated languages are are the parent language to english.

Sad and pathetic. "To confuse and enfuriate with comedy" that is the guenthercorp motto and currently I haven't updated the thing in 3 weeks. But don't worry I have recently recovered the Guentherific Game and will tinker a bit with it and post it on my diversions page for all to enjoy. Though unlike my other diversions you can actually win. And get an awesome prize if you do.

Ciao 'Corpsters

Is Your Boss a 800 pound Gorilla?

I’m thinking not.  Unless you’re willing to work for bananas.  That has to be one of the dumbest lines to ever hit the Sunday trib.  Likewise I’m sick at the media.  Nothing but blame seeking crybabies.  Everything is a contest for attention.  Its like the big brother trying to win attention from mommy and daddy cuz the baby gets all the attention.  It’s a fact of life.  Deal with it.  You lost, so stop gloating and work on your game plan instead of flinging the same BS you always have.

Ah political outrage properly expelled into the world of blogs and politics.  Nothing calms my nerves better than that.  Again thoughts plague my mind.  It seems I’ve always been like this.  I guess my brain just won’t let me forget.

Ignore that.  I’m just tired is all.  I’ll leave it to let you know my mind is like a hive of angry bees buzzing around at all tangents.  Buzzzzzzz.

Ahh! One stung me.  Well work decided to mess with me again.  Tuesday I get out of class at about 5 or 10 minutes before noon.  They scheduled me for noon.  So this is a bit of interesting drama.  Blech I hate drama but at least its real.  The for real deal.

I grow tired of typing already but after the scare of my computer being shot yesterday (stupid cooling fan clogged again) I’m kinda glad that things are back to the same ol’ same ol’.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Well, one change would be nice but that’s a gripe for another blog.

Ciao ‘Corpsters

Late Night JengaJam

Congrats to Eric going full blog... so here's a free plug zenrockoutkast. His opinions are not those of mine though.

So what up all your homes? I get to work this whole week and I'd post my work schedule except for a few reasons.

1. That super stupid
2. Makes stalker's jobs too cushy (i'm on to you!)
3. Who cares?
4. Working is for chumps and I'm not proud of making huge money
5. You're not really reading this anyways so I doesn't matter

So yeah fun stuff though a couple opportunities to eat lunch with my dad. Yep how cute Daddy 'n Me. Wow that was awesomely infantile. I really need to go to bread. I mean bed! Yeesh I'm getting loopy already. So I'll run off now.

Ciao 'Corpsters

Youth in Asia

Guten Tag or whatever,

The title is one I've long been wanting to use and was trying to think of something relevent to therefore blog about. But that took too long so I'll write about... recycling.

Yeah I said I was going to go to the corn maze on Friday but I just didn't feel like it. That and my mom really wanted to hang out with her sister. Who am I to take away that joy? You'd have to be evil and ruthless to do that. Ok I didn't get around to telling her and my plans collapsed on myself. Ah well, them's the breaks.

Also it was nice to see Starship Troopers again. A fine quality movie that. Bugs exploding, policitcal statements, see the evolution of the violin (yep its neon green... how cool). Good time had by me.

Parent's are again out of town. Meaning my mom made me call her when I was in for the night. She was afraid the guys at Burger King would kidnap me or something and of course she doesn't even have the phone near her. Sigh...

Just me and the dog chilling and watching tv and barking at stray cats. No moths lately... I'm kinda disappointed really. They have a taste that just can't be beat!

Ciao 'Corpsters

The Week of Hell is at an End

Despite some minor family issues going on, this week freaked me out quite well. Stupid math group projects. See when your group falls apart then you're moved to another group who already has a tightly formed clique going. Its not quite fun. In fact my work schedule completely conflicted with meeting them. And the one hour that didn't... work called and tried to get me to work then. Somehow those booger blasters know I have stuff goings on. Yeah. But I showed em... well... not intentionally but i was late to work 10 minutes yesterday cuz I finally got to meet with my group.

Group projects... the worst tool for teaching ever. You'd always have the smart people who'd do the project completely (ie usually me) and the dumbons that just sit there and sniff markers and get loopy. Not to say they weren't loopy to begin with mind you. It was great in high school they'd let me work alone, and I would be able to get stuff done so much faster without some little nose pickers breathing down my back and trying to add the kinda sophmoronic touches that scream "look at me I helpeded!"

But despite that... stupid people are just way too funny. That's why Ralph Wiggum is the best character on the Simpsons.

Yesterday the season premeres of South Park and Drawn Together were on. Both were really bad. But usually if its animated I'll still watch it anyways despite lack of humor or the complete onslaught of stupid jokes. Lame references to previous jokes "Krab People" and jokes they pull out of their asses i.e. "nuse naps" are not funny.

Well, I guess I'm back to updating this week in history so I should try to do it a month at a time I guess so I can be lazier. I really need input here people. For crying out loud, without feedback I'll just go back to pulling stuff out of my... wait a second... didn't I just make fun of somebody else doing that? Doggone it. That's why nobody comments on this deal. Dag yo.

Ciao 'Corpsters

Stupid myspace... *shakes fist*

Why in the world do I keep getting spam from "females"? This is now my fourth spam from random females desperate for "friends." Sure I'm sure it might be legit... but who makes a profile that just links to some dumbass dating service? Exactly, nobody.

Just a short blog tonight too much stuff is on my mind now. I should be nice and ready to blog more tomorrow morning. If not, get over it.

Ciao 'Corpsters

Ranty McRantingstein Yells at you About Loyalty

There is a farce in this group of friends going on. It makes me sick that they're even still trying to make me believe it. I'm much smarter than that depsite my loose grip on seriousness. Sure I may dance and act like a clown but beneath this mask I'm quite the intellectual. Yeah you thought I was gonna post that lyric from "I'm a Loser" from the Beatles White Album. Well no. I won't. Because all in all I win from this situation. The truth has set me free.

Who are really my friends? Those who have willingly told be about this facade. That is a slim and disappointing number but that's just fine with me. Who are they? I'm much too loyal to these friends than to blab about that. Your beef is with me anyways.

So seriously, get over your little drama and cry for attention. If you want that, there's a lot better ways of doing so. A puppy perhaps? Puppies love attention and love you no matter what you do. Me? I'm a fickle young man and while I begin trusting people, only your own stupidity and immaturity causes me to change my feelings about that.

Oh and I'm also sure the rest of you are all pissed over the fact I didn't say "me sowwie yer teacher is sicky." Did any of you give a **** when my grandfather was in the hospital? Heck no. If he was so close to you how come this is the first time I've heard any mention of him?!? Drama. I don't need made up stuff I get enough myself and don't throw everyone else into it. As I quote what you say about your friends when you're angry for them acting young, "that is so high school" and it is.

Your personal lives are none of my concern however I will talk about it once to expose you for what you are. Since a certain somebody never bothered to tell me during an exactly 5 week period of this dating thing. What is it now? Am I only good enough to read your blog and when we talk online or elsewhere its just friendly smalltalk you'd give to a complete and random stranger? I really doubted it was real in the first place. My emotions were stepped on and thrown into chaos. I could quote more inconsistencies but that'd only make your next b-s spree all the more better. So get over yourselves people. You're not that clever. Jokes start with "knock-knock" or "what do you get if you cross a..." I though of really great ways to get back at you. But then you'd be the winner. Who needs friends like that? Not me.

Ciao Corpsters and Wanna-be Drama Queens

Pseudo-holiday: Swee-tist Dae

Yep or as I like to call it, "guys getting whipped by primadonnas day." Perhaps Valentine's Day 2? Either way the fact the greeting card companies, the united rose growing guild, and the chocolate lobby ruined a perfectly good obscure holiday.

Sweetest Day used to be a day for people to recognize those mentally and phsyically disabled. Why it was named Sweetest Day? I'll just say that the mentally handicaped can indeed be some of the sweetest, considerate people despite their negative wrap in today's society. Well folks I go plans tonight so I'll jet and get some food in me and a new pair of shoes. I'm sick of wet feet when it rains. Also there's another pseudo-holida tomorrow! What fun for me!

Caio 'Corpsters

tres bien merci, es tu?

To blog or not to blog that is the question. However it is quite obvious no matter what I do no I do in fact blog. Ah, logic. You crazy she-devil, you.

Well, I've done a lot of thinking about this Guentherific RPG sequel I've been pondering about. Should I use a complete new set of characters? Well since I'm long out of high school that's a given. But should I be the main character? Nah, although tying the two together will be kinda hard since I get killed off to matter how hard you try. Hmm... I just ruined the game for you didn't I? Well, too bad. Mwah mwah mwaaaaaah.

Besides I changed it.. uh oh here comes Paul. Crazy coworkers and of course he insults my blog again.

Going back to what I was saying in the last paragraph, the philosphy of my formerly-called "games" section (now "diversions") is that you can't possibly win no matter what. Kinda like those Sim City type games... they go on forever until you get tired of them and buy their newest version. Hmm. Yeah I need to find a way to make money off this thing. Well all the expenses were covered for me for a couple years so my generous benefactor says he gets all proceeds from the site... yeah sure he will.

Well, I guess you'll have to wait and see to enjoy the awesome game. I know I'll be surprised when it pops into my noggin.

Ciao 'Corpsters

Husky Headed Boys Weekly

There to dispute what I blogged two days ago I'll leave the original title I wrote. It has nothing to do about anything I shall write about today. As you can see I didn't update this week. Meh? Meh!

Kinda disappointed really, this week in history used to be a very popular section of all my previous sites. This one's real, yo! Hmm I guess it's high time I started advertising. How about a nice weekly spam-vertisment? Those are always great. Hmm perhaps as a monthly type deal. Everyone loves to delete newletters before they even read them right? Hopefully just seeing the words guenthercorp's monthly spam-vertisment will be just enough to hypnotise people into mumbling "go to guenthercorp.com its guentherific" when they sleep. Hmm. Also a great excuse for my new anti-sleeping campaign.

Caffeine! Its the new sugar!

This web-based blogging sytem is pretty cool. I can update it while I hide in the mega lab from all the people that would ignore me anyway. Although the spell checker leaves much to be desired. In fact, I just ran it and its detects words I spelled right and tries to get to replace them with the same exact word. Also for some reason, I think it's detecting words in the coding of the page, because it pulls words out of its computery buttocks. Sorry I mean intermanetty.

Wow, getting plenty of sleep just comes to show that I have absolutely no social life whatsoever. I mean when I had none I kept telling myself my friends must be so compassionate that I'm so exausted they didn't even put me in the situation of having to make myself even more tired. De nile (denial yeah i know its spelled wrong its an obvious plug of that joke denial isn't just a river in Egypt, get over yourself poindexter) is my best friend. We hang out every day.

Well folks it seems my Guentherdar is telling me I'm not funny anymore so its time to wrap things up until next time. I just might go see a movie tonight with good ol'...

Forget it! I have more things to say! I don't care if you don't have the patience to read this crap! This blog is for my benefit! Go leave, if you have that terrible attitude.

So yeah I saw Drew Carrey's Green Screen Show yesterday. I thought it would be horrible, but all it is is Who's Line is it Anyway with mediocre animation and backgrounds. The actress that plays Mimi was there too, but she wasn't too funny. They had the best Who's Line people there sans the musicians but I didn't mind too much.

Anyone sick of baseball already? I guess my prediction for the Yankees winning it all was wrong. Meh. I'm still rooting for the White Sox not winning. Their fans just don't deserve it. All they do is bicker and complain how the Cubs no matter how they do are beloved and get top billing in all of the newspapers and other media sources of garbage.

Bringing up my final thought, I promise, the way to sort the newspaper from least biased to most biased is to just read it backwards. You can't really exaggerate sports stats. Then there's like the ads and obits. Then all the advice and comics, then all the news they can stand to pull out of their ass. You know I'm insulting you the Trib. You suck!

Ciao 'Corpsters (apostrophe or not? You decide! Comment today for the love of God please comment! Just once saying "meh" or "i hate you please die!" whatever please comment!!!)

Pseudo-holiday: Call-umm-buss Day

Why call it a pseudo-holiday? (Pseudo means false for you little morons scratching their dry scalps right now.) Well, I don't get the day off. That's right. Beyond that its just a tribute to some guy that was going out to buy some spices to liven up the daily gruel they ate back in 1492 (same year Luther was running amok in Germany mind you). Being Spanish, his king was a cheapskate and felt that the trading tax was nothing compared to getting this crazy map maker. Heartbroken Mister Columbus went to France. Queen Isabella for some reason was convinced that Columbus would spread the word of Christianity (mind you these were the days of the Inquisition: RE: History of the World Part 1) to these heathen multi god loving heathens.

Going west to go east is quite a stupid concept if you ask me. But when you're driving most logic goes out the door. Sure he could have asked for directions from any of the friendly ice bergs out there and ran into... the Carribean. There he met some pirates and that one guy all these girls are drooling over for some reason... wait that didn't happen.

He got lost. He grabbed a ton of loot to impress the royalty (thinking he was in Indian mind you) and pleaded to return. For some reason they let him do so three more times until he died a poor man. So did he discover America? No! Then why in the world is everything called Columbia? Who knows. The French have a strange power over culture.

He wasn't even smart enough like that Amerigo Vespucci guy who named this land after himself and all the other map makers were too lazy to come up with anything better.

So go ahead and declare it a holiday. Go see a stupid parade or two. Give the mailmen a day off, but I'm sure not calling it a holiday. Celebrating guys getting lost and refusing to ask for directions sure isn't something to celebrate. Well, maybe if he did find something good. But he didn't. He really should have invested in all the resorts down there.

Ciao Corpsters- there are two pseudo-holidays this week! Chill and you'll find out what the next one is (unless you're smart or swing by the Overpriced Card Store).

Hey Kids! Learn to Blog!

How do you blog like the best of them? Simple! You don't need a rhyme or reason in your head to blog like a successful blog person. Neither do you need an actual idea. Just start talking eventually you'll come upon an idea that just sounds natural. Just sit there and type and type until you have a nice theme going. Then go back and change your title so it sounds like you planned it that way.

Isn't that great? Just keep mixing up your sentences with various lengths and throw in a question or two to show people you love different forms of punctuation. I think periods get all the attention. Sure an explanation point is just a period with a cool hat, but what a hat! Man, I'd sure love to have a nice top hat. I'd look like Mister Peanut! Though I think the monocle is a bit much over the top.

So yeah school isn't out tomorrow as I had planned so the Guenthercorp update won't exist. Meh its not like you care anyways.

Caio cioa chow chou Corpsters

The mystery of where lost socks go.

Oh yes here we are... I've probably mentioned it before that I had lost the remote to my television. Well thanks for all your concerns and advice that problem is finally solved. I gave up and ordered a new one (actually two). This time I should find a string and tie it to my desk or something. Although I'm quite sure that string will somehow dissolve in my room.

Atmospheric conditions and the high amounts of noxious gases (ie wet dog smell when dry) given off by my pet land mammal quadruped offer quite a nasty environment in which string can't possibly exist for any period of time without just dissolving into nothingness. So that's what I assume keeps happening to our remote controls. Its scientifically sound.

OK OK its really a remote hoarding imp that also likes to eat the left sock of every pair.

Ah the wonder of the days which we have socks that can be worn on either foot! Course I guess that goes back as far as socks were in general circulation among the general populace... I mean ever see those weird socks people wear that are like gloves? Sure they're nice for the few times you know where they are. But socks, (that's what I've named the sock eating imp) the sock eating imp, surely lives in the dryer. There he is the champion hunter for his entire clan where he tells stories of the triumphs of the latest sock hunt. With him and his wife, securely, they have quite a clan of little sock eaters. For you see socks are not only their only source of food, but a powerful aphrodisiac.

Indeed. So how can we stop this legion of evil sock eaters? You can't cuz they're an endangered species.

Or maybe they came when the aliens accidentally miscalculated our gravity and crashed into Roswell, and their pet sock eating imps escaped to reak havoc and gourge on our delicious cotton assets.

Or maybe its even a scheme by hangs and Fruit of the Loom to increase sock sales. Why not use genetically engineered monsters to just eat the socks so people won't be able to keep them long after they become holey?

Or maybe our feet are just so sweaty and smelly they dissolve? Which brings me back to my original point about the string. Which leads me to believe I start these blogs having absolutely no idea what to write about and end them on a hilarious note rambling about the stupid thoughts that jump into my brain.

So where do the socks go? You decide. Vote today!

Chaio (caio? ciao?) Corpsters

Alas... 'tis but a new week to deal with

Well, not exactly but for some reason I feel as if Tuesdays are the first day of the week. Lol, me and my feelings. Appalled that I don't keep em locked in? Pashoo. I usually open about these things, even with still relative strangers. But its not like I have anything to hide. No deep dark secrets here, boys and girls.

Here I am wondering and pondering the futility of working. The hours are long, the work is painfully boring, and the pay is meager. Alas, I see no short answer to this problem. Well unless my website gets super popular heh.

So here I am wasting away in orange juice land. Searching for my lost remote of control. Some people claim that there's woman to blame. But I know, its my own damn fault.

I don't know where that came from but I find it somewhat funny. Though mind you, I am quite sleep deprived as always. But the way things go, its the best way to deal with my current situation, my thoughts are one-tracked and the emotions buried deep within about opportunities lost and my own nieve ways. But I digress. "Whoever said I had to lose my innocence?" (Bonus points for the band who sang that line.) Things are much better when you put faith in other people. Not to such an extent you'll get a boot up your arse. But above and beyond all that have faith in God. I don't expect to get my way, but beyond my puny mortal mind there is already an anointed path, and all in all it'll work out for His will. Who am I to question that?

Theology rules!

Ciao Corpsters

What's The Real Meaning of Smarch?

Well boys and girls.  It's time for you to learn what Smarch (and the rest of the Guentherian calendar) is all about!

Smarch is a time of appreciation and giving.  It was also a clever way to disguise my birthday.  As you look at the Guentherian calendar you'll notice Smarch is the thirteenth month of the year.  This is a deliberate reference to the episode of the Simpsons "It was the thirteenth day of the thirteen month"  "Lousy Smarch weather."  For some reason 45 came to my mind when I claimed it as my birthday.  That's why Smarch has 45 days.  To finish up the rest of the year (320 days) I figured that the rest of the months should have an even number of days because the thing I hate most of all is that every month has their own number of days that makes absolutely no sense.  This was a clever way to get around that.  Thusly 16 easily went into 320, so that all other months would have that many days.  So overall we have 21 months.

Naming them of course took several years to finally decide on.  Most notable of the months are Shmoopuary (as seen in the popular Dilbert comic), Zxcvb a month consisting of all consonants (also a parody of QWERTY you see every so often), and of course Aieouio (vowels, duh).

I attempted to name all of the days of the week, but decided it wasn't funny.  So in tribute to Family Guy I threw a Katilsday at the end.  (Although it just means its Monday of next week in case I get lazy so I have another day if I need it.)

So there, boys and girl, you now know the wonderful history and beautiful beauty of the Guentherian Calendar.  That's right, it was a lame joke that I've refused to let die.  I really hate people celebrating my birthday! :-D

Ciao Corpsters    

Happy Beta Launch!

Happy Beta Launch!

Ah, at long last I have a real website.  Three huzzahs for myself.  I just wrote the new advice column I’m sure that you’ll all be interested in to read.  It will also be beneficiary to your everyday life!  Soon as I wake up tomorrow (6 or 7 am) I’ll upload the site and you can bask in its glory.

So what’s new?  This week in history.  My advice column.  Yeah I know.  Two things big whoop.  Well, I don’t appreciate your attitude mister.  I’ve spent a lot of time getting those things working and fixing a lot of links so pretend to be happy.  Humor me please!

Finally ordered replacement remote controls.  Yeah, I’m sure a few of your out there are scratching your heads until they’re raw and bloody wonder what I’m talking about.  Well, here it goes.  I lost my remote control.  Deep intellectual blog today, huh?  I mean seriously everybody is like “It’s just under your bed” or “Clean your stinking room already” or “I refuse to talk to you anymore until you tell me what your name is!”  Sheesh such attitudes.  Umm… Also you should probably ignore that last one.

Time for another, sigh, week of school.  Well, I’ll keep y’all posted of the random thoughts that run through my head.

Ciao Corpsters

PS if you can think of a better closing please end my humiliation now.

Thanks I Needed That

Mad props to all my pals (All Is On, Jenstin, William, Pastor M., Brad, and the rest) at NIU for hanging out with me tonight. For all of you outside the know, I’ll fill in the details of what went on. This is what they called a “Toilet Bowl.” Well during the reconstruction they kept a urinal which they like to haul around for kicks. So yeah beyond that it was a nice air hockey tourney 16 person single elimination. I was surprised to actually win one game. The other I was brutally slaughtered. But it was fun all the same. They played Space Balls all the while the tournament went on so that was an added bonus. Also free food. The Pastor’s kids were there and his youngster son and I had fun goofing around.

In other news, guenthercorp.com is now claimed. Very shortly that will replace the free site I am using now. Thanks to my awesome super-generous father I have dibs on that name for years to come. Expect weekly site updates and at least 3 blog entries a week!

I’m now off on a Runescape mission to chart NPC’s then its off to bed.

Ciao ‘Corpsters