Why call it a pseudo-holiday? (Pseudo means false for you little morons scratching their dry scalps right now.) Well, I don't get the day off. That's right. Beyond that its just a tribute to some guy that was going out to buy some spices to liven up the daily gruel they ate back in 1492 (same year Luther was running amok in Germany mind you). Being Spanish, his king was a cheapskate and felt that the trading tax was nothing compared to getting this crazy map maker. Heartbroken Mister Columbus went to France. Queen Isabella for some reason was convinced that Columbus would spread the word of Christianity (mind you these were the days of the Inquisition: RE: History of the World Part 1) to these heathen multi god loving heathens.
Going west to go east is quite a stupid concept if you ask me. But when you're driving most logic goes out the door. Sure he could have asked for directions from any of the friendly ice bergs out there and ran into... the Carribean. There he met some pirates and that one guy all these girls are drooling over for some reason... wait that didn't happen.
He got lost. He grabbed a ton of loot to impress the royalty (thinking he was in Indian mind you) and pleaded to return. For some reason they let him do so three more times until he died a poor man. So did he discover America? No! Then why in the world is everything called Columbia? Who knows. The French have a strange power over culture.
He wasn't even smart enough like that Amerigo Vespucci guy who named this land after himself and all the other map makers were too lazy to come up with anything better.
So go ahead and declare it a holiday. Go see a stupid parade or two. Give the mailmen a day off, but I'm sure not calling it a holiday. Celebrating guys getting lost and refusing to ask for directions sure isn't something to celebrate. Well, maybe if he did find something good. But he didn't. He really should have invested in all the resorts down there.
Ciao Corpsters- there are two pseudo-holidays this week! Chill and you'll find out what the next one is (unless you're smart or swing by the Overpriced Card Store).
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