End

Well its coming to an end. I can try and stop it all I want but I must acknowledge defeat. Its not even the fact that many people will agree with it. The year is coming to an end.

Blah blah blah its my 130th blog! Hooray!

I know I usually give my lecture on how Christmas is being corrupted but I changed my mind this year about it. The Christians stole it from the Romans. Sure they gave gifts and performed... gay orgies... which was the perfect cover to celebrate Jesus' birthday, one whom never celebrated his birthday as this wasn't the custom of the time. Also there's the obvious fact that Jesus' birthday couldn't have possibly been during the winter.


So the fact that Christmas is being commercialized doesn't bother me. It just goes around.

As you probably know, I don't really follow the Gregorian calendar. Which if you follow it too, isn't even halfway through the year let alone the month of Smarch. So no year end parties for me. Don't bother to invite me cuz I won't go :)

Well I'll probably have more thoughts on this. And yes I promised to talk more about Festivus but I won't. I don't all that approve of Seinfeld and its low moral values.

Caio 'Corpsters

Solstice

Today is the winter solstice. The sun at noon is directly above the immaginary line called the Tropic of Cancer which is at 33 1/3 degrees south of the equator.

Why should you care? First of all its the shortest day of the year. From now on there's more sunlight. If you're a vampire this means bad news. But if you're a vampire don't worry, soon enough I will put you out of your misery with a stake through your cold barely beating heart. Oh wait, I'm not Blade.

Well anyways I'll warn you ahead of time that Festivus is tomorrow! Hooray! More about it tomorrow!

Caio 'Corpsters

'zEEmlzay!

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Changes

Rapid changes are happening to this blog.

First the template has changed. Finally today I put a counter in it. Hopefully I'll see how many actual people read this. Won't that be nice? What's next? An update to the main site? (To date its been ignored since August.) Oh and look my father posted for the first time in forever. I sure hope people read who post what... otherwise those readers with lesser intelligence might think i'm married... heh.

Tell your friends! Now!

Don't forget! Only 3 more days to slack off before doing all your Christmas shopping! So absolutely nothing to worry about.

Caio 'Corpsters

The Hunt for Red and Green December

Ho..................Ho..................Ho.................. you will shoot your eye out.
Now you know why I wear glasses, not really, the real blame should go to those carrots we ate as kids!

Christmas is now a political thing. Why? It stems from people who do not stand up for their faith and let the rights of stupid political groups get their "equal rights".

Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus, it may not be the time of year he was actually born, but it does fit in with the stores having a lot of toys on their shelves.

Do I want Christmas presents? Of course, but good luck finding something I haven't already bought myself.

Does it matter whether my better half buys me anything? Not at all because it is "our" money but her taste is better.

I have gotten a lot of holiday gifts for around the house all throughout the year. The joy of getting a new toilet or a tool really is nice. I usually figure out what is inside a wrapped gift anyways.

Perhaps a new garage door can count as my gifts for Valentines Day, Groundhogs Day and Fathers Day.

Now if only "Man stuff" could count for my wife's allotment of gifts. It would be like buying her a bowling ball with my name engraved on it.

Tradition

If you've ever seen The Fiddler on the Roof, ok stop snickering my mom made me watch it and it wasn't half bad, you'd know that tradition is a pain in the ass and hurts more than it helps. Plus I had no idea what that fiddler was doing on the roof. Or whose roof it belonged to. But that's not important.

The important thing is how mainstream religion has taken tradition to the point of where its equal to the bible itself. Tradition simply means its been done year after year. There's no opinion implied there. No "we've done it so long you know it must be right!". No whether you want to or not doing something over and over again is called tradition. I call it routine.

Its a shame church is always on Sunday. Due to that I can never go. Though the fact is sometimes I don't want to go. And usually when I do go I sleep through it. Then its like a lame version of Simon Says without any of the skill. Please Rise. Please be seated. Please rise for this hymn. All 12 verses of this hymn. This hymn the organist has no clue how to play and the congregation wouldn't have a clue where to start for the melody. Dang it took me a while to think of the word melody. Guess I won't be a musician. Then again my idol Max Weinberg never uses music.

I have no idea how I got on Max Weinberg but that really doesn't matter anymore. Tradition stinks, do things for you own reasons not because so old guy decided it was fun to do and got stuck in a rut.

Caio 'Corpsters.

XMAS

Ok no more blogathon... it bored me. That and nobody cared. So after all I'll please myself.

So here I am considering to things about when people call Christmas Xmas. Two things. First what's their purpose? Is it they're trying to take the religion out of it? If that's the case that's no problem. Why would I say such a blasphemous thing? Cuz the Christians stole it from the Romans. Its just returning to the sex orgy gift giving holiday it was before. Good for them. Another thing is that when people say gesundheit instead of "God Bless You".

X is the abbreviation they used for Christ is Greek. Its quite funny actually. Also I've heard people relating the X to the cross. But that's just stretching it.

So either way... Go Baby Jesus! You rule!

Witch-hunt

Today is the 4th day of Smarch and I carry on the blogathon with this post.

Today is but a recommendation. Arthur Miller's The Crucible. I think even more now its a very inspirational film and better play.

I'm sure you've read it and seen it like I was forced to in Junior year, but it seems all the much better. Its inspirational to how if faith is taken the wrong way it can ruin lives. Add one lie and greedy landowners... all hell breaks loose and the innocent suffer.

Caio 'Corpsters

GNECU- Logic 408

Welcome to my third installment of the Smarch blogathon.

Welcome to GNECU's Logic 408 class.
Today we shall discuss the fine line (if any) between intelligence and laziness.

I'm here to prove once and for all they are one in the same. From the beginning of civilization, no matter what story you choose to believe mankind started out in bands. Eventually they figured out how to raise animals, then later agriculture was developed. Is this a sign of intellegence?

Surely it is. But was it in the search of knowledge these things were developed? Surely not! They did it to make life easier! Hence, being lazy.

Why do people nowadays use neumatic nailing guns instead of a hammer? Laziness!

Sure it took considerable effort to cut the effort of nailing down. They had schematics to develop, safety concerns, and the process of making the machines to make the machine itself. Considerable effort to make life eventually easier.

Why was the bicycle invented? The cart? The wagon? The automobile? The jetplane? All laziness.

However there is proof that not all intelligence is brought upon to make life easier. Why was the rocket ship invented? Cuz its just too cool. Does it make life any easier? Of course not.

So therefore we establish that there is a line between laziness and intelligence. Just that unlike most things in life, this line is pretty well defined.

Caio 'Corpsters

Think

Hey the second day of Smarch is gone. Sorry folks. But this will still be the second in my series so we'll pretend this was posted yesterday. Cool? Cool.

Well here I am thinking about what I'm gonna blog. Kept putting it off I couldn't think of anything. So why not make it about my favorite pasttime... thinking!

What's great about thinking? Its so easy! Not only that if you focus hard enough you can escape reality. Which in minor doses is a great method. Too much and you're coo coo bananas.

So what do I think about? My novel mostly. Today the first chapter popped into my head. Can't wait til finals are over so I can jot it down. Another thing is the mysteries of life. Or other random junk. Its real fun. It also helps work bareable!

So yeah that's my second blog for the second day of Smarch!

Caio Corpsters

Meaning

The first of the Smarch Series

Before I begin let there be a moment of silence in memory for the Attack on Pearl Harbor 65 years ago.

Thank you for your consideration. Now I will tell you want you wish to know... the meaning of life.

First I will begin with how the most popular conceptions are wrong.

Theory One: "The meaning of life is to become wealthy."
Wrong! You begin life with nothing. You end life with nothing. Sorry but unless you're a firm believer in the old Egyptian religion, no faiths believe you take anything with you when you die.

Theory Two: "The meaning of life is to have a family."
Close... I'm sure life would move on if everyone didn't have a family. I mean world populations are going up. A couple people deciding to never settle down won't hurt things. Then again it is one of the ways of immortality by producing children. Then again to that very same point the bonds of marriage aren't necessary to populate the world. ;)

Crackpot Theory Three: "The meaning of life is to be God's pincushion."
Right on! You very existance is for God's entertainment. Worship him or be smited by him it matters very little. Why do you think reality TV is so popular? This is playing God more than messing with science and creating super monkeys. Why else is Improv so popular? Scripted stories just aren't entertaining. And with all kinds of people of different walks of life in the world... that episode of South Park where all the peoples on Earth bringing all together to be a TV show doesn't sound all that far fetched.

Caio Corpsters.
1 for 1 in Smarch! :)

Eve

The dawning of Smarch is upon us. Tomorrow marks the first day of the longest month of the Guentherian calendar. As such I'll attempt to blog every single day (that's right all 45 days) with some coherent well-thought out ideas. Or just throw together some monkey junk.

Either way it will be a month and a half to remember. Man I hate the Gregorian calendar and its weird number of days per month.

So what's coming up first? Tomorrow I'll tell you the meaning of life.

Caio Corpsters

Greetings

Are the people that are in this heated debate on the debate whether a company should say "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays?"

There are many things to consider. First Christmas is an official American holiday. Last time I checked Chanukah and Kwanza weren't. Sure even the first people to colonize were Christian.

I'm all for nonfavortism toward any specific holiday. Though I wonder why are they all within the same week? Seems almost like their were looking for a debate. I mean Chanukah was there first. Jesus is very unlikely to have been born in December. Kwanaza is less than 100 years old and still people have no clue what it means.

So should they say "Merry Christmas?" If they don't should we boycott their stores? Afterall it is their fault for commercializing the holiday. Then again Christmas was stolen from the Romans along with traditional gift giving. Seems only fair. There's no need to boycott something so trivial.

As Leela once said "Society will never expand as a whole unless we all pretend to like each other." So here's to a happy holiday whatever you believe in. With absolutely no "haha I'm right and you're going to hell".

Caio 'Corpsters

Genius

I hate lazy bums... Stand in line for a Playstation 3 for hours for the full intention of selling them on ebay for thousands.

Hiring homeless guys to also do it for 100 bucks a day plus free food... pure genius. Wish I thought of that!

Better blog tonight! Or not!

Incense

"a knucklehead's lament in early november"
~dedicated to naomi~
~powered by mellowing incense~~

purple flying bananas
in my toaster
what a great escape
sometimes we want to get along
sometimes we want to quarrel
don't you know that the rain is almost nigh?
its a tour de force
a taste sensation that's sweeping the nation
but all we know is the poor man has no room in his pockets
just a lacking of what he knows
and we all know...
that somewhere... somehow...
one tin soldier rides away
dia de los muertos
ponce de león
newton's apple
shelled pisachio in a bag
that's the meaning of life, Brian
but one day you have to die a little to live a lot

~~A poem by Guenther~~

Holiday

Instead of my usual "Sweetest Day is dumb" speech I give every year, I'll give my reader ummm i mean readers the knowledge on how to point out what is in fact a holiday and what is not.

First one has to realize the British context of the word holiday. As in "on holiday". What we Americans call "vacation". I believe this is the best definition for the point i'm getting at. A holiday is a day you get off and don't have to work or be educated.

Then there are festivals. Days that are intentionally on Sundays are such things. Easter is not a holiday, its a festival. Christmas is a holiday as you get time off on the day. A festival is a day of religious or other significant meaning but you don't get the day off.

Then there are greeting card holidays. Those exist for the sole purpose of selling flowers, candy, and greeting cards. These have nice meanings behind them but are typically only thrown into the mix to boost otherwise low flower sales. Nobody heard of Sweetest Day back in the day. But out of nowhere it came up and its pretty much Valentine's Day 2.

Not that there's anything wrong with showing affection through the giving of gifts. The commercialization of actual holidays and festivals I can even stand. But the fact that they make up bogus ones to increase sales is where I draw the line. Its as the Simpsons episode with "Love Day".

Besides you don't and shouldn't need an excuse for giftgiving. Although I doubt its necessity. In the ancient times nobody celebrated birthdays. Holidays were only during the winter months where nothing could get done anyways. And festivals were for religious purposes.

Caio 'Corpsters

Survey

Do you eat beans?

Would you eat beans in a car?

Would you consider eating beans on a plane?

What's your craziest bean related dream?

What's the largest number of beans you've eaten at one time?

Have you eaten beans with a celebrity?

Who do you like eating beans with most?

Do you ever eat beans before noon?

Do you ever consider the nutritional benefits of beans or just love their taste?

What's your favorite kind of bean?

What's the last kind of bean that you ate?

Would you eat beans with Mr. Bean?

Do you eat beans at the ball park?

Do you have a ball park made out of beans?

When was the last time you ate beans?

Are you eating beans right now?

Do you prefer raw or cooked beans?

Do you prefer dry or canned beans?

What's your earliest memory of eating beans?

Do you wish your car was made of or ran on beans?

What's your wildest bean-related fantasy?

Do you make friends based on how they like their beans?

Do you like refried beans?

What do you think of when you hear "Pinto"?

What's the first thing you think of when you hear "Kidney"?

Do you think Jelly Beans are an insult to the good name of beans?

Who would you most like to eat beans with?

If you could only eat one kind of bean for the ret of your life what would it be?

Do you date only on the basis of how many beans they enjoy?

Do you like beans with sauces or just as is?

Have you ever grown your own beans?

Would you like to grow your own beans?

Are you slightly curious about how to grow your own beans?

Have you ever been to "Bean Town"?

If so, were you disappointed that you couldn't eat the buildings there?

Did you complain that you couldn't eat the buildings?

How big is the largest monument you built dedicated to your love of beans?

Are you daydreaming about beans nows?

How about now?

Do you like bean soup?

Do you like bean paste?

Do you like soy beans?

If you couldn't eat any meat would you not be affected because you love beans so much?

If you love beans so much, why don't you marry them?

Are you angry that you legally can't marry beans?

Do you talk to your beans?

Do they talk back?

Do you lie awake at night trying to figure out the secret recipe for Bush's Baked Beans?

Do you prefer your beans baked, fried, barbecued, boiled, or raw?

Will you repost this beanerific survey for all to enjoy? If you don't repost this within 10 microseconds Beanzilla will come and smite you. Eventually. Seriously he might. Be scared.

Yeah I'm sick of surveys too.

Anniversary

Oh and on a secondary note this blog is now one year old (and three days but ignore that). 112 posts isn't bad and I'll try to do better though I'm not doing so good as yet. But I'll try to discuss whatever gibberish pops into my head.

Happy Birthday GuentherBlog!

Ten

Alright today you may be thinking what crazy scheme I have for a blog. Well today I will keep typing allowing all typos and whatnot as is and type non stop for 10 minutes. That will be interesting.

Well first of all school seems to be going well. My mythology teacher seems dumber eacher day but that's alright. I guess you'd have to be crazy to teach mythology. The nice thing is we don't have to shell out for a text book. That's the only difference between high school and college. Well that and a whole lots less in class time. I enjoy having two days essentially off and that's not too shabby.

Well let's see. We've also been tearing up the carpet here at home and here my dad just walked into the room having no convern that what i'm trying so if you want to that's just fine I'm typing here dad. Yeah he walked into the room there. That's kinda insteresting enough. I have no clue where this blog's heading but hey.

So yeah I'm really getting into the animae and manga versions of Naruto. Its a great show and all, but waaay too many people get into it too much y'a know? Its like they were watching a soap opera or something like that in which they wonder who's gonna couple up? Well two things. First they're 12 years old. I sure wasn't worrying about that. And second its supposed to be a bunch of ninjas training and fighting with some p lot thrown in. But let em do it... doesn't mind me.

Let's see also bunch of friends w2ent to karaoke and missed me by a couple minutes to see if I wanted to go. A karaoke bar... two things wrong with that.

First I don't drink. Sure I'm 21 and everyone does it. But one doesn't know that my grandparents as far as I know were alcoholics at some degree. Yeah I dont trust my genetics one bit.

The second thing wrong with that is karaoke which some say is japaneese for tone deaf. Ha! What humor. But I sing for crap and I know very well that none of my friends are gonna get on American Idle anytime.

Sure that's cruel but I calls em as I sees em. If they complain (or even see this blog) I'll stand by my statements.

Let's see its about 8 minutes in and I'm again out of ideas. Hmmm. Well I do get to go to work today. ONly 4 hours but still its nighttime fun. The self check out isn't horrible.

Oh anothwer thing was my folks were going to go out of town this weekend and again decided not to go meaning my plans to throw a rave are out. What a shame. Last minute.

Dog cat bear cow log sow sew new few dew lew lou lous lous bill fill mill dill jor more are all random words i'm thinking of

its time to wrap things up so see ya later
caio corpsters.

Force

Well as its seems I'm not motivated to blog as much as I used to. Its a shame really, I figured all the stress that comes from the school year would motivate me to write and spill my guts. True, my mind has been set awhirl but nothing that I'd bother sharing.

So here I ponder now that summer's long over and autumn's a snore what I have to look forward to. Well of course TV premieres are coming. Reruns begone!

That also means reality shows aplenty and more wanna be "USA IDLE".

Well that wasn't too bad with nothing to blog with.
Ciao 'Corpsters

Advertised

Today I attempted to get a replacement for the big blue chair. I stopped at two different places. The first “Office Bax”- didn’t have any in stock of the only chair worth even considering of getting. Course we had to wait in line to find that out. The second place, “Office Despot’s” chairs were all overpriced or designed by drunk colorblind leathersmiths. The third place another “Office Bax” finally had a decent chair.

After waiting for some lazy guy to finally get his lazy bum to bring it up they finally got it up to the store. Of course it scanned wrong. The sign they put up was apparently for tomorrow. Of course they heard what I thought of that… If that had been done at my place of work I would’ve gotten that item for free.

Finally leaving, after giving them an earful, the manager came out of the store with one of the brain-dead sales people shouting and flailing their arms trying to get our attention. I guess they changed their minds about the policy- but I didn’t have time for more crap. I hope that kid got fired… or at least they changed their lazy policy of preadvertising.

Ciao ‘Corpsters

P.S. Today is the first day in the process of making a real game. Let's see if I pull through.

Title

I don't know what it is about them... but whenever a TV show has a one word title it seems all the more respectable. Sure anyone can string a string (ha, C++ reference) of words together to describe an storyline (not to mention titles that have nothing to do with anything but just sound funny... I hate those) but a concise one... that's makes for good watching.

Then again most shows don't even bother to tell the titles unless you buy the DVD box set years down the line. That's just weak.

Ciao 'Corpsters

Demotion

Well school is officially back in session. That means el bloggo will be updated more regularly.

Today's topic is demotion. Today they (a bunch of wiseguys that think they're all that and a bag of high-colesterol heavily salted delcious mouthwatering... wait where was I going?) voted that Pluto is no longer to be considered a planet.

What are my thoughts on this? A rock by another other name is still a rock. I'm sure if there were creatures living on the other planetoids and they were demoted, that would be well enough to start an galatic insident (The writer of this blog still accepts Plutoarchians as full memebers of the solar system alliance and truer friends than those lazy good for nothing Lunarians). But this arguement has been going on for many years than I'd care to think about. I remember seeing on some late night show hosted by May Bigchinn (not a real name- think about it) that the only consideration it had to still being a planet was that its the only planet that was discovered by an American. Lame excuse if best.

So long My Very Education Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas. I'm sure the youth of tomorrow will miss an imaginary incentive for nonexistant pizzas to remember the order the planets are in. (Even though Neptune gets bored and switched places with Pluto from time to time.)

Seriously does it affect my life by how many planets there are? Nah, we're always discovering new rocks also circling around the sun and just like the vultures circling around their prey, nobody really cares how many there are. That's your tax dollars hard at work!

Weeks ago I told you of the untimely death of the big blue chair and failed to tell the story about it. Well, there's not much to tell so you've been waiting in vain. Basically that chair was used by me in 7th and 8th grade during very boring (and long forgotten) catechism classes. Sitting in the same spot everyday I moulded it to be perfect. One day they were giving them away so I claimed it. Here it sat in my room for several years til it finally couldn't take the awesomeness that is to support me and it gave up. I'm sure somewhere the king of rats or the lord of the roaches now rests on my old chair. That insect will one day rule the world because of it. Which then i'll easily seize with my footus squishitus.

True Story.
Caio 'Corpsters

Horoscopes

Simple enough title... Horoscopes. Many people take them seriously. I for one do not as my website update shows access that here.

Do the stars tell of our destiny? No of course not. Why would everyone that was born within a month of each other possibly have the same path in life? Its preposterous. All it does is play on people's fear of the unknown with things they don't understand. The stars and planets don't tell us squat (besides show up in breathtaking scenes sometimes) and beyond that the zodiac as we know it would have shifted over one sign since it was invented thousands of years ago.

Isn't it interesting that horoscopes give about as much information and are as helpful as fortune cookies? Don't get me started on psychic friends. But I'm sure my audience has heard enough of the supporting evidence to this fact on a popular show Northwest Park.

Well I have bad news to report "The Big Blue Chair" as I call it has passed on. Thusly a new permanent announcement adrorns the guenthercorp homepage. A complete history of it will be posted tomorrow as I'm too overwhelmed with grief on the death of this historical landmark to reminisce on this now.

Ciao 'Corpsters

Welcome to Normality

Well my blogging slump is gone (for now) and I have an interesting truth in life I wish to share with all you Corpsters out there. Yeah I'm sure nobody really exclaims from the rooftops that they're Corpsters... but don't worry its a way of understanding more than a title.

With my small talk out of the way, let's dive right into my topic of discussion for this evening. Normality. Sure in high school we craved to fit in. Most people already had a gaggle of friends in which they had something to fall back on. But I guess I got a lot out of my high school experience by not having that cushion. Sure I knew only one other guy but he sure didn't give a damn about me before or after school (sure i car pooled with him saved gas on the hour long trip each way). During those trips he had stuff to say... oh well...

And so because of that lack of cushioning I was forced to find my own friends and blaze my own path in the world that is high school. Sure I have a few regrets... namely taking dates to school dances... but hey I learned more from that than staying to my old routine.

I by no means call myself normal. And I'm sure at some level everyone would say the very same thing. But then why do we have an urge to be "normal"? Is it the fact that we want to fit in? Is it the fact that people different from you scare you and you want to be on the laughing end of the pranks? Sure that's what high school and college mostly are... hazing and trying to find a clique to fit in.

This would be a great opportunity to get into my theory of the "best friend trap". As if friendship were a competition. Oooo we're BFF. The best friend movement was forcibly shoved down our throats in grade school. While sure I have friends that are friendlier than others... ones you trust more to share things with. But I sure didn't give that title myself to anyone. (Course my mother would say otherwise.)

Best implies a competition. Sure you can claim to have multiple best friends and be a well-adjusted individual, but I'm talking about the pure definition of the word. Again people say its "normal" to have a best friend. I am personally under the belief of "keeping your friends close and your enemies closer". They'll get what's coming to them.

So if everyone isn't normal, wouldn't it be normal ro be abnormal? In that case we get into a mindless debate which beginnings of which make my mind numb. But that'll happen when you're blogging as late or early as I tend to.

When inspiration strikes no matter when or where I just gotta blog.
Sorry if it doesn't correspond with normal schedules... Heh then you didn't catch the gist of my blog. The secret to blogging is to type from the heart. This isn't any english paper and I don't bother most the time to proofread beyond the word i'm typing. I guess reading the blog as I wrote it will work with the way the mind works... sure it focuses for a minute then drifts off on some tangent... its perfectly normal (abnormal?) for that to happen. So I leave you tonight or morning or whenever you read this explaining why I blog so little during the summer.

Oh well we'll always have seven flags amusing type park
Ciao 'Corpsters

Poindexter Poetry

Johnny was a chemist's son,
But Johnny is no more.
What Johnny thought was H20
was H2SO4.

Hilarious. Ciao 'Corpsters

Falling Sand Game - hosted by Chirag Mehta @ chir.ag

Falling Sand Game - hosted by Chirag Mehta @ chir.ag

OK why not another hit. This is a weird game but sure is addictive.

The brown sand is gasoline... add fire and watch the fun.

Caio "Oooo a can!" Corpsters

I Want One Of Those

I Want One Of Those

I have nothing better to blog so I'll share this great website full of great crap you don't really need but you'd want anyway. Summer's the time I don't blog much anyways. Take that blog readers.

Caio "An update is an update" Corpsters

In2TV

In2TV - AOL Television

Another great link. This site, despite being AOL sponsered, shows a number of shows I've long forgotten. Mainly Freakazoid!, Pinky and the Brain, and the Animaniacs. Of course there are plenty of live-action shows there. Best of all its free and ya don't have to sign up for anything.

There is a serious lack of commercials as well, though you'll have to see about 4 per episode which pays for the site and I comletely expect. Works with Internet Explorer in my experience, which you really shouldn't use for security reasons.

Caio and enjoy Corpsters

Video Files » Super Mario Bros. Live

Video Files » Super Mario Bros. Live

Wow... its corny... but wow... that's talent.

100th Post

Oh where has the time gone? This is officially our 100th post. What fun!

I probably should look back and show off the highlights of blogging... but that's no fun. For me and for you. Clip shows stink. We want new stuff. And I'm above using gimicks to attract visitors... though that expose about developmentally disabled people is compelling stuff.

No, it'll be a normal post. See that I didn't post anything for recent holidays. Even the compelling story of my car's anniversary of breaking down in Northbrook. I'm sure you've all heard that story.

Post to be continued...

Free Ride to Heaven (Part 1) Reply 1

peaceonearth commented:
So let's see, the church says that the mentally challenged need to hear the word of God to be saved yet they choose not to worship along with them. Just more proof that churches are not in the business of saving lives but of carrying out their own agenda. Just ask yourself, do you really want to rely on someone else's interpretation of the Bible for your salvation or do you want to find your own path to God?

It is a real honor to get a comment from peaceonearth . He is indeed a very articulate author and thinker in his own right. Go to his blog and find out for yourself.

My Reply:

It seems that not all churches actually practice what Bible teaches, so in the matter of Developmentally Disabled People, it appears that some pastors must have taken a vote and cancelled out what Jesus preached.

What credibility does a church have when they find no need for a worship service for Developmentally Disabled People and yet say that these same people will be damned if they don't have faith in Jesus. Their only chance for salvation would have been if they were baptised as a baby because to be baptised as an adult would mean a confession of faith.

Many Developmentally Disabled People are unable to understand the sermon unless it is taught at their educational level, which means they are out of luck in the Chicago area.

What about the Developmentally Disabled People in our neighborhoods? Not only them, but what about their family or Caregivers. I attended a Worship Service where there were 17 total people attending and only three or four Developmentally Disabled People. Just think of how many people could be saved for each Developmentally Disabled People in attendance.

There is a need to bring the Gospel to all Developmentally Disabled People.

The President of a Lutheran synod emailed this comment to me in January 2003:

“I'm also sorry that others are not seeing a need for a Jesus Cares worship service in your area. It would seem, in the Chicago area, that there would not only be enough WELS people wanting such a service but plenty of mission prospects as well.”

Let me add some more...

It is a real challenge to find a church which makes you feel comfortable with a Developmentally Disabled Child. It is only a matter of time before a new pastor comes along and WHAM, the welcome mat gets pulled out from under your feet.

It has been a while since I have taken my autistic son to church. Why? It seems that he is in the habit of sitting on the “porcelain throne” most of the service.

I need to keep an eye on him so he does not wander around the building and get into trouble. I suggested in an email to the pastor of the church I attended that they should put speakers in the bathroom so I can hear the sermon.

The reply was no. I pointed out that there was no use in coming to church if I can’t hear the sermon.

I know my son will be in Heaven because he was baptized and confirmed.

He has faith! In fact one of the two pastors that taught his confirmation classes commented that he was a theologian and too bad the synod did not have a place for him. Quite a few times that pastor looked up some of the answers that my autistic son gave and was amazed at his perception and understanding of the bible. A “normal” child also took the class, but did notdo as well as my son.

According to the Chicago Area Pastors, there is no need for a Worship Service for the Developmentally Disabled People in the Chicago Area!

What about all the Developmentally Disabled People we see every day of our life? If they do not get a Free Ride to Heaven, then I guess that these Chicago Area Pastors are damning these people to hell.

To Be Continued

Free Ride to Heaven? (Part 1)

Does a Developmentally Disabled Person get a Free Ride to Heaven?

It was in May of 2006 that I asked a question at a religious website from the denomination I was born and raised in.

Following is the reply, (private information removed or edited):

Date: May 18, 2006 4:23 PM
Subject: Your comments on W*** about J****? Feedback have been answered

You said:

Does God give the developmentally disabled salvation if they are unable to communicate their faith? If they cannot communicate their faith, how do we know that they are saved? If they do need to know about Jesus, then why is it so difficult to find a worship service where they will be able to understand on their own level? (Try finding a church that makes you feel comfortable with a developmentally disabled child. Even President G***** moved away from my autistic child at a worship service, moving forward and across the middle aisle so the Seminary student wouldn't see him.) If these developmentally disabled people get automatic salvation, then I need not worry and that explains why the Chicago Area Circuit Pastors unanimously voted 3 times not to have an area service for the developmentally disabled because there was no need in their churches. If the developmentally disabled need a faith in Jesus for salvation, then I guess hell will have a lot more souls thanks to our churches.

This is our reply:

Greetings in our risen Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

If I understand your questions correctly you asked, “Does God give the developmentally disabled salvation if they are unable to communicate their faith? How do we know they are saved if they cannot communicate their faith?”

God has blessed the developmentally disabled with a unique challenge and blessing in life. They are his children, created and molded from conception as his dearly loved children. God promises that he wants all people to be saved, and this includes the developmentally disabled. This does not mean however, that he will just, automatically save them. They as sinners need to hear the word of God spoken or read to them. God promises that he will work where his gospel is given. As his children they also need to be baptized, for we are promised in 1 Peter 3.21 that by Baptism we are saved. We are also promised that the Holy Spirit works faith through baptism Titus 3:5,7. Take these words to heart and be comforted that if you are telling your child the word and your child is baptized, be assured that the Lord promises to work through these means.

Be assured that God wants your child with him in heaven, he wants your child to hear his word and to be assured that Jesus Cares for your autistic child.

In Christ,

Webmaster W***A****J****.com

To be continued.

ProfileSpace.com ~Not a made up site

ProfileSpace.com ~Not a made up site

I hate myspace. It spreads AIDS. That and the fact that people think they're so great when they have 6,743 friends 7,000 of whom they have never met nor ever will. So check out my website of the (thing). Even though its on my own site. I'm sure you've overlooked it. Its a site to behold.

Caio 'Corpsters

Back in the High Life

Well I’ve been on “vacation” for the last week and suddenly I notice I haven’t blogged in weeks anything worth reading.  I shall recap one story from my “vacation” first and get to the hard facts.

I was at Lowz, shopping for who knows what with my dad.  Then in the middle of an aisle a woman comes up to me and asks some dumb question.  I ignore her since I have no clue where anything is nor would my advice be useful.  The dumb woman stood there for a good 10 minutes while I was reading the back of a box before she realized I wasn’t trying to help her.  But did she leave upset? Nope, she said a “Thanks anyways.”  The funny part was that store employees passed by her several times and my dad who I would assume looks like he knows what he was doing was nearby.  That’s the joke.  *pause for laughter*

Alright calm down, that comedic gold is just a part of my story.

Minutes have passed since I wrote that sentence and I have no idea where I’m going with this.  The actual dialogue went like this inside my head.

ME: Wow, I thought I had a purpose for what I was blogging.
BOREDOM: Look TV!

So yeah that’s all for now,
Ciao ‘Corpsters.

The Ultimate Personality Test

The Ultimate Personality Test

Post your results here! I wanna know!!!

I'm on vacation next week so enjoy!

Conflict of Interest

Sorry about the hiatus but the last 2 weeks I’ve been outraged by nothing in lieu of certain friends trying to ruin their lives as hard as they possibly can.  I guess the lazy dog days of summer have come a week early.  A week to the solstice by the way.

So what has pushed me back into my need to tell the truth?  The Taste of Chic(ken)ago.

While there’s nothing wrong with the festival, where the outrage lies is the sponsorship.  I wouldn’t care if its some local heartless amoral corporation.  As long as they have a passing interest in the city that’s fine.  The sponsor is the Visit Wiscinsin Board.  That’s right.  Another state is sponsoring the activities.  What advantage would they have by directing people away from their region of jurisdiction?

I won’t be surprised if they force people to wear cheese hats.

Ciao ‘Corpsters

Are you S-M-R-T?

Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure; Subsequently the second member of the team performed a self rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.

In plain English what does this translate to?

Happy Birthday Guenthercorp!

One year ago today I created what is today Guenthercorp. In a long tradition of other sites I've designed over the years, Guenthercorp is by far the best. One day I'll feature links to the old ones: Phlogiston and Poindexter's Club.

The site has been updated after a two month hiatus and I've worked hard to redesign the title page... the white on black page quickly lost its flare. Also 1337speak has lost its renewed old school appeal.

But as I promised... its time for off the wall craziness.

My expose on the graucho glasses. Sure its a staple "disguise" but do we really know the implications of such a gag item? Its easily compared to the fake vomit, the fart machine, and even the rubber chicken.

The thick black glasses are the most subtle part of this look. Perhaps this a parody of the nerd... sans the thick tape fixing the bridge. However if someone noticed this and customized it with tape... pure comedic gold.

The fake nose is perhaps the first thing you notice. Its supposed to be a deep red color so it won't possibly match the user's skin tone. The clash in hue is another important section of its comedic charm.

Fake eyebrows... you know the big thick ones are great.

Yeah that was pretty lame
Ciao 'Corpsters

Four-Part Trilogy

Return of the irrelevent titles!

Don't you hate it when you can't sleep cuz its too hot and you have no clue if you have a working fan or not. That and its stormy outside so your dog bursts into your room suddenly and doesn't even apollogize when asked about it?

I sure do. But that has nothing to do with today's blog.

Why must good movie series cut the line at three? Sure the actors get greedy and ask for more than the studio spends on the special effects, but that's what contracts are for. Though that would mean sequels to lousy movies...

Sigh... guess that's life. It's not like a major portion of my life includes seeing movies. In fact, unless I'm out with friends (which appears to be once a third of a year these days... sigh) I don't go to the movies. In fact the last movie I saw in a theatre was War of the Worlds. Besides most movies just don't catch my attention enough to warrent the ten dollar fee to see.

Am I a total outcast to the whole pop-culture references? Short answer no. Long answer not right away; I prefer to wait until the movie appears in the cheap seats. And only on the dollar day. Sure... only a few movies have I deemed worthy of two dollars.

So that's all you have to know about movies... What makes a good movie will be the second part of our four-part trilogy. If I get around to it. I promise for an off-the-wall post sometime soon.

Ciao 'Corpsters
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GUENTHERCORP! MY BRAINCHILD IS ONE YEAR OLD!!! I'M SO PROUD :)

Inhibitions

Post 90 and another deep, thought provoker. For sarcastic funapalooza stay tuned.

I've always wondered what my life would be like if I didn't have inhibitions. Would I be better off? Well, for a while there earlier today I thought so. A strange feeling came over me and the mixness of nausia and an adrenaline rush brought up by rock out music I thought I had everything thought out.

It was like a feeling of uter zen, not even bothered by the fact that my dog smelled like seaweed. Everything suddenly made sense and all the right words flooded into my head what to say to who and get everything I thought I wanted.

I guess that's what it must feel to be drunk or something. Now sure I'm 21 and I'm proud to say I've never been drunk nor so much had more than a glass of wine (yeah it was my cousin's wedding... it tasted pretty bad... but my aunt got wasted on it) its like the logic section of my brain shut off. You know, the little part of your brain that says "that's a dumb idea, here let's watch tv instead".

What can I say? I relearned there are never easy answers. The best things in life are earned though hard work and hard thought. No one conversation can change that.

Thankful again certain people aren't on IM
Ciao 'Corpsters

How much is too much?

I’m glad I stopped buying video game consoles at the 64.  The newest gaming console coming out of the Sorny Corporation is $600 for its high end system.  Sure people will eat them up just as they come out but are people really rich enough to afford that?

Well anyways Happy Birthday to my brother who’s 25 today.  Here’s to the BS3 crashing and burning.

Ciao ‘Corpsters

Dreams... Omen or Stuff that Happens?

Dreams… Omen or Stuff that happens?

Dreams have always captivated mankind.  We know that in biblical times they’ve served as omens or messages from the Almighty Himself.  But does that mean God still directly meddles in our lives?  Is He taking a backseat now and just taking in the sights?  I guess that’s what the official stance of the church is.

Does it matter either way?  Does it change where we go after we die?  Of course not.  On the rare occasion you do remember your dreams does it mean they’re an omen of things to come?  Or are they a way of your subconscious mind to relax and sort through the data your received but weren’t aware of it.  Or are they a bunch of random junk with monkeys driving snowmobiles and throwing bananas at each other?

In my humble opinion, its all three.  I’ve had dreams that foretold the future and they’ve come true.  I’ve had other dreams I’ve thought we what were to happen and nothing did, or yet happen.  And I’ve had dreams about saying the pledge of allegiance over and over again.

Yeah, that last one is a weird thing to explain.  Because your memory in a dream is altered.  It’s kinda weird to immerse yourself in another reality.  Thus the movement of people trying to have lucid dreams.  Imagine having full power in a dream.  But it can be a scary thing as well.  Absolute power corrupts absolutely.  I guess that’s why man isn’t meant to control his dreams.

Daydream believer
Ciao ‘Corpsters

Experiment in blogging

Does the blog make the man or the man make the blog?  This is quite a question to consider.  You can see big names getting quite a lot of attention just because they’ve heard of them before.  So does that actually mean nobodies have a chance to make a name for themselves?  I mean most people have some sort of a blog.

Why does McRoeSoft Word hate the word blog anyways?  I guess its because it’s a new word somebody made up.

So what is this experiment?  I’m going into this blog with no intent or idea.  Kind of like going into a conversation with a friend.  Is there a need for a topic?  I say if you’re good enough friends the words will just come.  There’s no need to come up with material like you were on a talk show.  So I wonder… there are certain people where I almost have to prepare to talk to.  Nothing comes to mind.  Awkward silences are a good sign you’re not real close.  That would explain a lot of things and my blunders in dating.

A lot can be explained on the basis of desperation.  It makes people do stupid things to be accepted and/or loved.  But if you force yourself into such a situation did you really get that what you seeked?  Of course not.  Desperation may seem like a good means to get what most people have a secret desire for… and that’s acceptance.  Some take it a step beyond and call it love, but it’s the same concept.  People will go out of their way and pay dearly for something that will only show to be emotionally, physically, and spiritually empty.  Going into a relationship not being yourself will only explode in your face.  Sure if you had been your self the same result would have happened but a lesser, more easily endured hurt would come.  So is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?

Heck no.

Ciao 'Corpsters

Tongue-in-cheek humour

Hey all, I’m outta class for the summer and its time to update this site and blog more regularly… Now for a serious warning to scare you.
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!! Research on bread indicates that: 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling. In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made: 1. No sale of bread to minors.2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
Well what do you think?  If you thought it was serious you didn’t read it close enough.  Of course you can find more information on it at http://www.snopes.com/food/warnings/bread.asp.

Ahhh snopes… so much smarter than these people that send me spam.

I do not like green eggs and spam
I’ve never liked it Sam-I-am

Ciao ‘Corpsters

What makes a steak?

Recently I've gone to one Olde County Buffet.

This was a noteable day since we went to dinner at dinnertime, that is we paid the dinner price. Usually in the guentherclan we try to go right before the dinner food is put out at about 3:30 pm. Or myabe that's just my parent's excuse when they really want to eat dinner when the senior rush is.

Either way, we're there and its steak night. They're grilling the stuff up which is fine with me if I have to wait. Finally I bite into it (knives are for wimps) and get that whiff of hamburger. Then I detect onion chuncks and green stuff I presume is parsley. Sorry but that just isn't a steak. In fact I saw them take the same "steak" slop some cheap-o gravy on it and called it "Familystyle Meatloaf".

Later they cooked up some giant chuck steak and sliced it up. Now that's cheap grisly steak, but that's steak.

So what makes steak steak? Sure its all cow. Sure its all sliced up cow. But there's a point where its no longer steak. In fact, hamburger always seems to be older and smellier meat pulverized into fine strands them pressed back together and seared. But that isn't steak. Its a hamburger. Steak is a solid entity as such it has a variety of flavors and textures within it. Hamburger is a lump that has the same taste and texture.

Are steakburgers steak? Short answer... No. Long answer... Meat from the best parts ground up is still hamburger. Sure its better than the slop they serve at fast food chains, but it sure can't compair to a nicely grilled steak with a bone. Sure you can fool the elder people that frequent your establishment but you won't fool me and your fancy speak.

Ciao Corpsters

Evils of myspace

Myspace is an evil entity and thanks to a recent intervention from a longtime friend I’ve been freed.  I will tell you what evils it entails.

1. First its how a lot of people “hook up”


2. People become comment “whores”


3. People try to add as many friends as possible no matter if they know them or not


4. People getting bummed out for not being in your “top 8”


5. Too much illegal music and video hosting


6. Lack of individuality unless you want more ads swamped all over it


7. Minors getting into trouble meeting pedophiles


8. Unreliable service


9. Owned by News Corp.  (ie FOX) ‘nuff said.


10. Annoying instant pestering pop-ups even if you turned that feature off


11. Smart-alecky bands annoying you begging for attention


12. Bulletins written when they should be blogs (ie surveys)


13. Tom defaulting being your friend


14. Too much information shared


15. Random people wanting you to instant pester them


16. Too many rumors about it closing down


17. Peer pressure to sign up


18. Too many people pretending to be celebrities or fictional characters


19. People having multiple accounts


20. People incessantly checking for messages or comments

And that’s just a nugget of my experience from this evil entitiy.  If that doesn’t convince you, nothing will.

Ciao ‘Corpsters

Hear no evil… or good

I am detecting a phenomenon in elder females.  It’s the fact that they don’t listen to what you say.  In actual fact, they listen to the part they want to hear.  Such an occurrence occurred at work yesterday.  There was the typical hausfrau, and wondered if Paul remembered her.  Of course he didn’t but being the slick talker he said he did.  I started telling a story about how I never remember people’s names.

The lady then said if I was going to insult her, tell it to her face.  I simply told her what I said and she said to not bother.

Well later on I found out she forgot her money and said she’d come back right away to get her groceries.  Which she never did.

So the moral of the story kiddies, is don’t assume the worst in people.  If you do your money will disappear into a void between space and time and will never return.  Making you look quite the fool.  An April fool if you will.

Ciao ‘Corpsters

So... You Like Taking My Nickel, Ehhhhhhhhhhhh!

Why do people tip?
Answer: To show your service person that the service that they did for you was exceptional.

When NOT to tip:
Answer: When YOU have to do the work, as in a cafeteria buffet or stopping for a cup of coffee in the morning.

What do you do when the "female cashier" who should be immediately handing you your change from $2.00 for your $1.95 cup of coffee hesitates handing you your nickel? Worse, you look away for a second so that "female cashier" finally throws your nickel in the Tip Cube?

You never go to that location again.
They lose your business, which amounted to $9.75 a week (this is a lot of loot when you figure coffee once was a dime a cup with free refills).

Sure, this may be petty, but getting my nickel change only 39 times would basically get me a free cup of coffee!

What have I been doing for my morning coffee since I was ripped off for a nickel?

Coffee at the company is pee weak and bitter, so I am having a second coffee service come in. This way I will choose the coffee I like better. If that are both just as bad, I will keep the cheaper company.

I have gone out of my way to go to other locations of that Nickel Usurper, in fact one that is a penny cheaper!

So to all businesses BE ON NOTICE: If you wonder why you are losing customers, could it be that your cashiers gave incorrect change or over priced or threw your nickel in the Tip Cube?

Gamer Advertisments

I don’t know about you but there’s a new line of annoying ads that are all competition ones to “win” a “ring tone”.  They all have bad story  lines like “out lift Arnold”, “Punch all the Ninja”, or even the “knock down all the mailboxes.”  My favorite of all these is the, and I’m seriously not making it up, “Out-knit Sadaam.”

Where am I going with this I ask?  Sure its great when a website makes money (dang that’s what I gotta do) but sometimes its like they won’t prescreen these things.  Yet another problem is kids seeing ads that are “inappropriate” and I’m saying that the best I can.  You know the one’s I’m talking about.  Those countless dating sights with a  random revealing picture of some attractive female with the tag line including some version of “its nice to be naughty”.  I don’t know about you but I guess that is truth in advertising for the majority of my gender, with obvious exceptions with those that think with their brain instead of their… ummm… I’ll not mention its name.  Gotta keep this blog PG rated.

So yeah in other news I got my driver’s license renewed and it doesn’t say “21 until Smarch 45th, 2628.  That that non legal drinking people.  I’ll go into how I don’t drink, but that’s a lecture for another time.  Its time for me to catch up on sleep.

Ciao ‘Corpsters

WARNING PROCRASTINATERS!

Taxes are due in 11 some hours. Yeah I know, by the time anyone reads this it'll be weeks from now but its here mostly for my benefit. I'm done with taxes and will eventually attach the forms I need and write out envelopes.

You'll be proud to know I owe the state of Illinois 15 cents and I'm not going to be paying it.

Booya.

Well if memory serves me right this is my 80th post. I'm quite disappointed by the number I have at this point dispite "hiring" two extra people to blog. Which only added 3 to the number. Lazy bums. Well I guess I got what I paid for.

Shout out to Nay- it was here birthday yesterday I guess but what can I say I'm out of her clique- though that's another story. Suffice to say it wasn't my choice and I had no say in the matter. People get all moody over nothing these days.

Ciao 'Corpsters

Christianeque Secular Anthem

Look down upon me, Jesus, you've got to help me make a stand.
You've just got to see me through another day.
My body's aching and my time is at hand.
And I won't make it any other way.
-James Taylor

That's it for now... off to fertilize the lawn
Ciao 'Corpsters

What <3 means to me

I'm seeing this pseudo-smiley all over. And I wonder what it meant. So let's take a scientific look at it. First one would assume it looks like a heart. But no heart looks like that they look like...



So it gets me to think it looks like the underside of a nose. So when you tell somebody you <3 them... you either.

You "pick" them

You want to make a mural out of the "gold" on their bedroom wall

You tell them they smell bad and should change their hygeine habits to include showers.

I calls em as i sees em
Ciao 'Corpsters

PS website coming on Guenthercorp's first birthday May 25th... let's hope I have something to show this time.

How to Create a Number One Jam

Since the beginning of time, music has been a form of not only self expression but a source of entertainment. So I ask you... what is the secret of a great work of music? Speaking rockwise- combining a few to all of these elements will put you on your way.

Cowbell- deny it or not cowbell makes a song great

An instrumental introduction that sounds nothing like the rest of the song

A tune you can whistle to

A story that would make Homer (the poet not Simpson) blush

A baseline that doesn't strum along with the electric guitar

Well that's all I can think of now so I'll be sure to revisit this again!

Ciao 'Corpsters

Mystery of Life... or death

My mind's been buzzing a mile a minute... the usual... girls, work, and the mysteries of life. That and not getting enough sleep has allowed me to uncover the last one. The first I'll let you know if I get anything.

Heaven. For my faith, yeah it exists. How do you get there? Faith in Jesus and nothing else.

But what about the technicalities of it? The biggest confusion is how everyone is judged at the same time. Catholics have created the idea of Purgatory to try to explain this. And its not that far off. Here's how I think it'll happen.

We know everyone gets judged by their faith whether or not they get to heaven. Also that obviously different people die at different times, spaced by thousands of years.

We know God exists above and beyond all the dimensions. And the fourth dimension is time. So I believe at the moment you die, from your perspective that's judgement day. Sure everyone else alive keeps going on from their relative perspectives but they're judged at the same relative time as you are. So between the time you die and everyone else dies you're in some sort of limbo. Proof of that can be inferred when Lazarus (and others) was raised from the dead. Obviously they had no vision of heaven because they hadn't experienced it. Sure God can bring people back from that. I certainly doubt God would remove their memory of heaven, though I suppose it could happen.

Then of course that would disprove the popular theories of ghosts and "love ones" keeping an eye on you. That would cause people to shut their minds to such a theory.

Oh well, believe it or not I guess it makes sense to me. Either way it doesn't really matter. The faith is what matters.

Ciao, oh enlightened 'Corpsters

Guentherspeak

In honor of my 75th blog I will post the rest in Guentherspeak! I am doing so because it upsets people horrifically. Browse guenthercorp's homepage to locate the key. Beyond that you're on your own. People got all upset at me yesterday for doing so on that cult that is myspace. So without further ado...

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m-lmvbDCBz$xvCzBmv+#mlziD$v]jz/bvD$jvFDlz/PavDeDljvay/eavCzBm
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Jule-Oska Pay by Touch Scam

If you didn't get it by now, when I gripe about specific businesses, for all intents and purposes change the name so I don't get sued for libel.

Today's gripe is about my employer. They're trying to win a stupid regional competition by having the most employees sign up for pay by touch. The winner gets an ice cream social.

That in itself isn't offensive. Thinking about the pieces of this, I made a few conclusions.

1. The main person they're trying to bribe to join, aka high schoolers, usually don't have checking accounts.

2. Most people are of conparable age to mine aren't easy bribed by ice cream. Especially when Jule-Oska shindigs mean the people lucky enough to be on break when food is served eat all the food that's enough for everyone. Meaning you have a 10% chance of getting said prize.

3. Why are they so interested in a program that doesn't seem to financially help them? It seems to only lose money on.

So that's why I won't be signing up for Pay by Touchey and I advise you all to do likewise. Use a cred card and build your credit. You'll be better off for it.

Ciao 'Corpsters

A Vote for Democracy

Primary Elections were today, did you vote?

I did. Regardless of whom you voted for, the point of voting is to, gasp, vote. Itt's your civic duty to do so. And, if you do vote, and the person you don't isn't elected you get full right to complain and whine about it.

If you didn't vote and you don't like who took office, I have but one thing to say about that. What other system of government do people not get a chance to vote? That's right. Communism. A vote for not voting is a vote for communism.

You make me sick.
Ciao 'Corpsters

So... You Like Cheap Gas, eh!

Buzzards and Crawdads are fine eating... if it is free! Who would pay to eat a creature that devours the waste products of anything that falls to the bottom of the stinkhole!

You get what you pay for but nobody wants to be gouged by a dufus with greasy hands! Do you think a stin'ken gas station is going to give somebody a good deal? Of course they will, but a sucker is born every minute and the good deal most time goes to the gas station with the foresight to add disclaimers to the price on the sign! Us Nomads in Search of Cheap Gas almost have to have a lawyer deciphering the price at each station!!!

I like cheap gas, but I am not going to use 2 gallons of gas trying to save 2 cents per gallon on gas!

Last Friday I was driving my Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong Yellow Ride and saw gas at least 10 cents cheaper than where I normally drive. A big pain in the butt! This was about one gallon of gas away!

What am I getting at? Just put a couple of buckaroos of gas in your tank every couple of days and be happy and wait until you find a cheap station which will make it worth the wait.

Most times you will only put gas in when you riding on the fumes.

You like cheap gas, who doesn't. It is a vanishing commodity. You will always see it on the other side of the road!

I remember the station changing the price as I was swiping my credit card.

Now that is irritating.

So... You Like Cheap Gas?

Eat beans.

The Sit-n-go Scam

The hunt for a cheap gas price is in our nature.  Nobody sane goes to the most expensive place unless they own stock in it.  In that case, I hate you.  How dare you encourage them by paying 30 more cents than me!

Well there used to be a day where the gas prices were easy to decipher but there’s a new trick out there I lovingly refer to as the Sit-n-go Scam.  Yeah, it’s a scam.  Basically their price appears 10 cents cheaper than it really is.  But the thing is you gotta promise to buy a car wash for 10 bucks.

This used to only apply to Sit-n-go’s that actually had car washes… but recently I found one that partnered up with an independent car wash for their scam.

Citgo you’re dead to me.  Viva la Spreeway.
Ciao ‘Corpsters

GNECU is back in session

Welcome to my blog’s 70th post extravaganza!

While I had previously killed this gimmick when I abandoned LiveJournal, I think its high time I resurrect it. You new to the game probably have noticed its never-updated section on my website… its high time the Guentherific College be reopened for all students.

Welcome to Advanced Ethics as part of Relationships.

So I begin my lecture… Anthropology 308- Relationships and Mankind

I’m sure you all have heard personally or heard of the phrase “I’ll never ____ you if you were the last (wo)man on Earth! This blank applys to many things but usually some degree of relationship.

But think about this statement. How many people of the opposite gender aren’t compatible with you? Removing obvious social lines such as wealth and nationality how outrageous this statement is. Think of entering a hypothetical situation… Being that last two people on earth. Yeah its unlike it’ll happen but let’s consider it.

Obviously the whole idea of a soul mate, true love, the “one” is thrown out. I discredit anyone that has any moral fibre in their body. Sure its fun to think prince charming or that knight in shining armor is out there to sweep you off your feet. Maybe you’re a guy and wondering about that maiden fair on the balcony. Whatever. The probably of finding this one “the one” is impossible. Serious relationships are in all reality the right person coming along at the right time. Now sure that’s not very romantic, but who cares. This really isn’t meant for people already in relationships. (Effectively dividing my audience in two.)

How many of the people in your age group can you have a happy relationship for the rest of your life? Easily one-half to one-third when you commit to the relationship. Sure religion and moral fibre are important, narrowing this number significantly.

So the next time someone says they won’t date you if you were the last person on earth, laugh. They’ll die lonely waiting for the guy that’ll never show.

Ciao ‘Corpsters

Real Life Simpsons Intro

YouTube - Real Life Simpsons Intro

Wow... just had to repost this... Dave Berry is an expert websurfer...

Martha At Large

Is it just me or is Martha Stewart more so profiteering after being released from jail?  After being on her own version of the Apprentice, she now has her products sold at Menards and Walter E Smithe.  But I guess that makes up for the fact K-Mart is outta business or close enough to it.

Well, that’s all I have for today.
Ciao ‘Corpsters

What's Wrong with America

The Town of Allopath

Breath in the truth.

Melancholy News Everyone!

Well if you haven't noticed already a few changes have been made.

First the abnoxiously long name for my blog is now gone. It is now "habeas guenthercorpus" which of course is based on the law term habeas corpus.

I also changed my name from T3h W3bm@57a to guenther. Obvious reasons, and the fact I'm getting bored of 1337speak.

Ratings for the NBC converage of the Olympics were less than they expected which is great news for us lesser sport astute.

I've also taken on two colleagues to help add even more variety to this kaleidoscope of random subjects and tones that I provide whenever the muses inspire me.

I will also blog like this more often. The inclusion of interesting links based on either random words I find cool, random terminology I expect you to know, or news articles that prove I'm right (which most the time I am).

So enjoy the changes! If not pretend you do!
Caio 'Corpsters

Dumb smart people are hilarious!

ABC News: Renowned Doctor Duped in Internet Scam

So... You Like Hausfraus, eh!

God have mercy on anybody who places their coats on the seats that make Elmo have to walk to the next table! You are hereby warned!

Is it because they are fat, I mean they are more than fat, they are ROTUND, and they are rude and steal the table that we usually sit in! I mean if they were in a cartoon, they would be used as basketballs!

Not only that, they are U G L Y, I do not take milk because it would curdle as I pass their table to get to my table. We like the table by the window so we suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous Hausfraus!

Last week there was a table of about eight Hausfraus, the funny thing is that one was skinny. They did have one thing in common, their faces were used by Animal Control to rid the fabled town of Hamlin of rats and mice. Also, the firemen out west fighting brush fires thank them for the use of their faces for stamping out the fires. Can you imagine the fear the fire had seeing that face swoop down on it before it was put out? Oh, shivers go down my spine.

Back to the skinny Hausfrau, They were playing some kind of card game. I did not want to look for more than a second because this was an all you can eat buffet, and I wanted to eat as much as I could stuff in my tummy tum tum.

Why would water tower shaped Hausfraus want to be with a skinny Hausfrau? Could it be that when they walk out, they ALL LOOK ROTUND! Could it be that they fill up the coat of the skinny Hausfrau with food and walk out unsuspected. Could it be that they later meet at designated spot and devour the booty!

A minute ago I was pretty hungry, but now that I am thinking of those Hausfraus, my stomach feels kind of queasy.

What a great diet solution!

I can imagine hearing the buffets new jingle: "if you want to be skinny for the rest of your life, eat at the buffet with the Ugly Hausfraus...

The only problem I see are the mirrors on the floor at the exit to stop the food pilferage!

Autistic Teen's Hoop Dreams Come True | I Was Your Age Twice

Autistic Teen's Hoop Dreams Come True | I Was Your Age Twice

I'm on a roll heh... what an inspiration.

Caio Corpsters

Meet Dr Kuhn

So there i was, knee deep in this indian, surrounded by girls.......

Phone Etiquette for the Complete Jerk

Yep I felt as though its time to revisit this topic.

Well what started this all off was creating plans to do something. Now, that's huge cuz if you hadn't guessed it, heard me whine about it, or some other third way; I don't get out of the house much.

Well apparently said jerk didn't tell me she had a Saturday class til 2 pm. When one person says lunch i think of the time between 11 am and 1 pm. In that 2 hour timeframe there's plenty of time to inform said alternate party to when they wish to lunch. Hearing no official time 2 pm came around and I decided to go eat. Soon after I received a phone call. At said point I said I made other plans for lunch and would postpone them. She said she'd talk to the other parties involved and get back to me.

That was 3 weeks ago. No calls back yet.

Also to this fact I was compared to a baby in such that I had to get feed on a regular schedule. Well to that fact I say Kelly you're a meanie.

If you're inconsiderate enough not to make definite and plans other plans will be made in their stead. Grow up the world doesn't revolve around you. No wonder you are stuck with a loser boyfriend you keep going back to because any sane person would know you're no catch. Thus the reason I refused to date you.

There that feels so much better mwahahahaha
Caio Corpsters

Olympic Disadvantage

Huzzah!!! Post number 60!! Yay me!!!

Ok right into my headline story... The Olympic Disadvantage. Many people start training for the olympics at a real young age. Think like 3, and we'll say they get into gymnastics or ice skating. You pick your least hated olympics. They then spend every waking minute either practicing, think about practicing, or learning impossible jargon nobody else can understand.

They spend 15 years of their life learning nothing they could possibly use in regular life only to fall on their ass come their big performance. What's left of their life? They wasted it for a piece of metal that in a couple years nobody cares about.

Warning to my female readers... the following statement is of low-brow wrestling please skip to the next paragraph. To D-von I mean seriously, who cares who many medals Kurt Angle has? The guy is hated. How many times outside of WWE do people talk about his gold medals? None. But at least he did find a full time job to use the skills he learned.

How many jobs are out there for figure skaters? Diz-nee on ice? Coach? Sports special correspondant? That's bout it. Quite a losing hand if ya ask me. Is the time and money spent on learning this "skill" worth the effort and the investment? I doubt it.

Do I even enjoy watching ice skating? What's more annoying than the flamboyant outfits they wear? The fact that backflips are only done by Scott Hamilton. I jump in and out on rare occassions hoping to see them... as posted before... fall on their asses.

Caio 'Corpsters

Since when do they officially let you leave early?

According to the university rules, if a professor hadn't arrived to a class by 15 minutes past the hour, the class was considered canceled for the day and the students were free to leave — with no penalties for missing a class.

Mounted over the chalkboard of each classroom was a type of wall clock that jumped ahead each minute, in a very noticeable fashion. These clocks were also not constructed in the most sophisticated manner. An enterprising student learned (it's always good to learn things at college) that if you hit the clock with a chalkboard eraser, the clock would jump ahead 1 minute.

So, in a class where the professor wasn't precisely punctual and his students considered him absent-minded, almost daily these students took target practice at the room's clock. A few well aimed erasers, and 15 minutes quickly passed on the clock, and the class dismissed itself.

When the day for the next exam rolled around, the professor strolled into the room on time, passed out the exams, and told class, "You have one hour to complete this test."

The professor collected the erasers from around the room, and gleefully began taking aim at the clock. Within 10 minutes he had successfully jumped the clock forward one hour. "Time's up!

Win-doze Haiku

I make no claim to writing these but the writer remained anonymous... enjoy!

-------------------------------------------------
In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft
Error messages with Haiku poetry messages.Haiku poetry has strict
construction rules. Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables:
five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the
third.

Haikus are used to communicate a timeless message often
achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through
extreme brevity - the essence of Zen:


>> > Your file was so big.
>> > It might be very useful.
>> > But now it is gone.

>> > The Web site you seek
>> > Cannot be located,
>> > but Countless more exist.

>> > Chaos reigns within.
>> > Reflect, repent, and reboot.
>> > Order shall return.

>> > Program aborting:
>> > Close all that you have worked on.
>> > You ask far too much.

>> > Windows NT crashed.
>> > I am the Blue Screen of Death.
>> > No one hears your screams.

>> > Yesterday it worked.
>> > Today it is not working.
>> > Windows is like that.

>> > First snow, then silence.
>> > This thousand-dollar screen dies
>> > So beautifully.

>> > The Tao that is seen
>> > Is not the true Tao-until
>> > You bring fresh toner.

>> > Stay the patient course.
>> > Of little worth is your ire.
>> > The network is down.

>> > A crash reduces
>> > Your expensive computer
>> > To a simple stone.

>> > Three things are certain:
>> > Death, taxes and lost data.
>> > Guess which has occurred.

>> > You step in the stream,
>> > But the water has moved on.
>> > This page is not here.

>> > Out of memory.
>> > We wish to hold the whole sky,
>> > But we never will.

>> > Having been erased,
>> > The document you're seeking
>> > Must now be retyped.

>> > Serious error.
>> > All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen.
>> > Mind. Both are blank.

Originally found here.

This is not good

Hey all I come bearing bad news of many sorts...

1. The Olympics are ruining all those who enjoy NBC programming.
2. H&R Block no longer lets you do your taxes online for free.
3. They finally Basset trained me so no more annoying "21 on register threeve"
4. I found out eleventy is actually a number.

But there is good news...

1. NBC programming stinks anyways.
2. I can still do the boring paperwork for free.
3. The novelty of ringing up alcohol is awesome.
4. Nobody really uses eleventy.

But there is more bad news...

1. Conan and Leno are both on NBC and those shows rock.
2. Paperwork is boring.
3. Novelty feelings towards new stuff goes away rather quickly.
4. Using eleventy confuses people and a confused person is an annoying person.

Life lesson... everything has a good side and a bad side. Its up to you to decide if it bugs you or not.

Caio 'Corpsters

Check out PBwiki!






Hey all. You all gotta check out PBwiki. Its a great way to... make a wiki. Why let wikipedia get all the glory? Make it all about you. Its insultingly easy to create and a great way to have your own slice on the web. Plus its the right price... free! Free!!! Glorious free!!! I know I don't usually advertise for anybody but hey if it works why not?

Though I must admit it is hard to get a wiki off the ground. You stare at the blank page and wonder... hmmm... I wonder what I should add to this. Well that's just half the fun! Tear it up and make me proud :)

Caio 'Corpsters

Whipped Day is Here!

Yes folks Hell's Mark and Herkey's Chocolates favorite time of the year is here. Herby called V-day. Now I'm all for showing affections to the special somebody in your life but for that fact that you have to have a special day to do it is stupid. That's what Anniversaries are for anyways.

Walk into any store and you'll be bobarded with pictures of roses, candy, and of course plenty of jewelry. You won't be able to get food at any decent... erm i mean expensive restaurants. And the fast food places you'll here plenty of grousing and nagging that the cheapskate couldn't afford lobbster cuz the poor guy spent his last dimes on bling for the primadonna. Of course this brings up a perfect opportunity to insult one of my generation's stupidest trends... The Promise Ring. Now jewelry is not inherently evil. Though the idea of shiney rocks in shiney metal just doesn't seem very romantic if you ask me. But I concur sure its rare and there's nothing wrong about that. Commitment is great and that's what Wedding Rings and to a much lesser extent engagement rings are for.

What are promise ring's purpose? Well I guess its some sort of pre-engagement. Kinda as dumb to me as 18 year olds getting married. What in the world do they know of love? Its just a way to shame a guy into spending money that should be going to college (or... umm... car insurance) on a stupid ring that means diddily squat. I guess its just a primadonna contest to brag to her dateless (sometimes ugly) friends and rub it in their faces that just because they don't have boyfriends means they are of lesser importance than them.

But nobody that is engaged or married is off the hook in my book. Ha that rhymed. Being a dateless wonder is great on a time like this. Poor chumps having to spend money on crap that'll be dead or eaten within a week.

Caio Corpsters

zenrockoutkast: Olympic Sized Pain in the Ass

I hate the Olympics and would make a long windless arguement to that fact but D-von beat me to it.
zenrockoutkast: Olympic Sized Pain in the Ass

But don't worry folks... Whipped Day is two days away and I will bitch completely on this.

Caio Corpsters

Phone Etiquette for the Complete Noobe

Apparently a person in our midst, who shall remain nameless, has no idea on basic phone etiquette. How about that? An appropriate title for once. Also spelling noob what an extra 'e' makes it sound extra classy, not that it wasn't classy before. :)

So yes, when one says "I'll call you back" the other person assumes that one would, regardless of the preceeding converstion, that they would call back. My parents (read mother) were enfuriated and I couldn't care less. But on a nicer side, I'd like to warn... erm... inform, yes... inform you that SnappyFunkyTime has and will make major contributions to my website. You should be thrilled.

Ah yes, I would have updated that but I found a old treasure-trove of old poetry. Yeah, I'd have included my mentor's stuff, but he's too cool to care. He'd probably let me post the stuff, but then again it's my site, don't like it by my merchandise* and burn it in protest. That'll teach me!

*NOTE TO THE READER: MERCHANDISE NOT YET AVAILABLE... CREATE YOUR OWN UNTIL THEN BUT SEND LARGE ROYALTY CHECKS/CHEQUES.

Also I'm excited to inform you that I've found the last surviving complete copy of my village-famous epic poem: "Hail to the Garbage Man." It was conceived by my father and the first stanza is directly his. From then it has been turned in 6 some years for muliple classes. Slowly it evolved and matured from its infantile 12 to its manly well-endowed 27 verses. I can only hope one day my children will use that poem to turn into teachers on multiple occassions and do as multiple speeches. Its not plagarism if I let 'em. (ie you're not allowed no stealing please.) One day it'll find its way to my website.

Caio 'Corpsters

VIRUS ALERT!!! W32/MyWife.d@MM!M24

W32/MyWife.d@MM!M24

This dreaded virus will strike tomorrow. Make sure your antivirus is updated. (Or download one real soon like if you don't have one.) If it is you have little to worry about. Also its a good opportunity to remind you if an email has the word sex in it... don't open it.

Duh.

Caio Corpsters

Wants and Needs

Hey all- totally on-time congromulations to d-von on his bertday.

Just a random pondering. Kinda reminiscent of Sunday School (read the title), but first a look inside what I've been up to recently.

i've been trying to get some plans to do some stuff out of the house for the last 2 weeks and it keeps falling through. Though I guess this is what always happens to me. Kinda like the past two trips to six flags. Anywhos time to get back on subject. My workplace has changed so much in the last week. The store scapegoat (Niel) has been transferred to another store, managment has been chewing us out for the past multiple months that sales through the self check out (furthermore will be referred to as scot) hasn't been what they expected, and the whole chain was sold to the company that owns Cub Foods. That and new technology that the chief demongraphic (seniors) that shops at the Jewel (yeah they use "the" in front of Jewel for some reason, easiest way to tell if you're old i guess) will think is the devil.

And for once I agree. Fingerprinting sure is a couple steps from the mark of the beast but we are slowly but surely making our way to the apocalypse. Who knew us being too lazy to remember where they put their perferred card would bring on the end of the world? God did. God is like Jeopardy! smart- to quote Little Nicky.

So yeah and a new class started today for me. Humanities. Swell stuff he's gonna teach us about works of art.

So yeah back to the title theme. Wants and needs. Well sure we want a lot of stuff. Its an unsatiable desire to consume everything we can get our hands on and the drive to get better than we have. Like when girls throw themselves at guys that are completely out of their league. Or when I try to have a blog/website people visit of their own free will. Yep wants are a great tool but also a great curse. Sure I want to settle down some day and have a family. Is it necessary? Not for a second. But hey wants are great.

Needs? Foodstuffs, companionship, shelter, religion. Everything everyone needs is there. I guess many assume by companionship I mean love. And sure love is a great thing. But its not the gushy smoochy shmoo-shmoopy hearts and cupids dancing around crap Ditz-nee and Hell's Mark have shoved down our throats. True love is an incredible thing... but not a feeling. Its commitment... its an unspoken bond and unconditional trust. Sure there's mutual sexual feelings there and hey its how God got us to reproduce that and he told us to. Hey guys... great line suggestion there.

so yeah that's about as much as my feminine side I'll let out today. How about that movie Dumb and Dumberer. Great knucklehead flick. I thought it would readily stink. And it didn't. Great nontraditional ending too. I saw that movie today and saw Ready to Rumble yesterday along with Fellowship of the Ring.

Good Times
Caio 'Corpsters

Vital Inforamation: The First

To celebrate my 50th post I shall begin a new ploy by ripping off the name Vital Information. But instead of random gibberish, I'll write about stuff you should know about. And this week you should know...

"What the jigger is nougat?"

Yeah we know candy bars feature chocolate, nuts, coconut, and other assorted fillings. None of which really make us wonder what it is. Chocolate is from some pod, nuts are grown on trees, coconuts a tropic fruit. Blah blah blah.

But what is nougat? Is it alien snot? Well sure it has the consistency and taste of nasal drippings. Its quite edible let me assure you, but is about as tasty as its name implies. Nougat is made from corn syrup (read sugar) and egg. That's it... they beat the egg like crazy til it congeals and heap it with sugar.

Now you're much wiser for learning this vital information so. I shall bid ye...
Caio 'Corpsters

Curioso Jorge

Just heard the first trailer for Curious George. Don't get me wrong Curious George rules out loud. And a movie about him in full length will be awesome. But i just don't see Will Ferril as the Man in the Yellow Hat. Sorry.

Meeting a Hero

How often does one meet a hero? Well yesterday I met mine. Dave Barry. Yeah we waited in line for one and a half hour but its was well worth it. Got my picture taken with him (with my dad's cell nonetheless) and he autographed his newest book for me "For Jeremy- my idol". Hilarious.

T'was a nice trip to Naperville. Finally all my birthday presents have arrived. What joy! Now to run wild and make me some juice.

Ciao 'Corpsters

Happy Birthday to Me!

You know you're a loser when your friends won't hang out with you even on your birthday. You all suck!

Beyond that crankiness... First week of school is over and its time for me to relax for a bit. Huzzah. So yeah, that's all I got for now but I'll post a couple more times and update my site.

Ciao 'Corpsters