So... You Like Hausfraus, eh!

God have mercy on anybody who places their coats on the seats that make Elmo have to walk to the next table! You are hereby warned!

Is it because they are fat, I mean they are more than fat, they are ROTUND, and they are rude and steal the table that we usually sit in! I mean if they were in a cartoon, they would be used as basketballs!

Not only that, they are U G L Y, I do not take milk because it would curdle as I pass their table to get to my table. We like the table by the window so we suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous Hausfraus!

Last week there was a table of about eight Hausfraus, the funny thing is that one was skinny. They did have one thing in common, their faces were used by Animal Control to rid the fabled town of Hamlin of rats and mice. Also, the firemen out west fighting brush fires thank them for the use of their faces for stamping out the fires. Can you imagine the fear the fire had seeing that face swoop down on it before it was put out? Oh, shivers go down my spine.

Back to the skinny Hausfrau, They were playing some kind of card game. I did not want to look for more than a second because this was an all you can eat buffet, and I wanted to eat as much as I could stuff in my tummy tum tum.

Why would water tower shaped Hausfraus want to be with a skinny Hausfrau? Could it be that when they walk out, they ALL LOOK ROTUND! Could it be that they fill up the coat of the skinny Hausfrau with food and walk out unsuspected. Could it be that they later meet at designated spot and devour the booty!

A minute ago I was pretty hungry, but now that I am thinking of those Hausfraus, my stomach feels kind of queasy.

What a great diet solution!

I can imagine hearing the buffets new jingle: "if you want to be skinny for the rest of your life, eat at the buffet with the Ugly Hausfraus...

The only problem I see are the mirrors on the floor at the exit to stop the food pilferage!