GNECU English 259- Advanced Poetry Writing

Hey class, I've seen you've all been playing hookey all semester, not that I blame you. Besides as long as your tuition checks go thorough I don't really care if you show up or not. No skin off my back that you all have a 0.0 GPA.

Well, since a couple of you showed up today I will teach you all what you missed. How to write poetry.

The easiest way is to come up with a rhyme scheme. Note that a simple ABAB works fine and doesn't need to be anymore complex than that. Personally I think its unnecessary, don't even worry about rhyming, that's what all the cool poets do.

Example:
There once was a girl from a place
Wasn't a pride of the human race
Ever night she came home late
Claimed to be on a hot date.

Just slap together a bunch of clichës (I know that's not the write accent mark but I'm not gonna try to find the right one since you don't bother to wake up until long past noon.) or buzz words.

Example:
Two for tea
There is no business like it
The condor flys into the sky
Then appears no more.

Another method is to just to feel some emotion and describe it. Of course to the males in this class, think of manly feelings like revenge, hate, and blowing stuff up (sure its an emotion!). To the females out there... hey wait no girls in the audience? Oh well if there is one out there in disguise make up some emotion. Just use wordsthat sound like the way you feel. It doesn't really matter if they mean that or not. Most people are too stupid or lazy to figure out the definitions of such words.

Example:
Blow up
Gas ignites
Smoke rises
Death dances
KABOOOM
My garbage can is now in pieces.

There's another method to poetry writing. Just take a bunch of acronyms and shape the poem to look like what its about. Don't worry if its advanced or not.

Example:
Trees
They have leaves
Sometimes they don't
They turn colors in fall.
Some trees don't
Some don't have leaves at all
Trees are cool
Treeeeeeeees
Treees
Trees.

There that looked like a tree. Don't worry you're not supposed to be art majors. If you are, you're in the wrong class.

Ciao 'Corpsters