Simply find the words baby, love, girl and replace them with Jesus, Lord, or God.
If it worked for Cartman it can work for you!
Friday, May 25, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Diet Pop is Good For You!
Sure you can drink regular pop, but that is full of real sugar!
With artificial sweeteners out there like Splenda or Aspartame, you get special effects! First they get rid of that extra calcium in your bones. Sure that can sound like a bad thing, but you're weighing less!
Sure there's also links to causing various cancers, but you know what? Cancers are special cells! They don't die! They divide indefinitely unlike "normal" cells that can only divide so many times and ensure your death! That and cancer is nothing more than a scary word for evolution! You're evolving when you get cancer! You might get superpowers! How cool is that!
Paid for by the The Artificial Sweetener Administration.
With artificial sweeteners out there like Splenda or Aspartame, you get special effects! First they get rid of that extra calcium in your bones. Sure that can sound like a bad thing, but you're weighing less!
Sure there's also links to causing various cancers, but you know what? Cancers are special cells! They don't die! They divide indefinitely unlike "normal" cells that can only divide so many times and ensure your death! That and cancer is nothing more than a scary word for evolution! You're evolving when you get cancer! You might get superpowers! How cool is that!
Paid for by the The Artificial Sweetener Administration.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Excercise Fourteen
Post 160 of the blog... wow. Here's this week's excercise. It's crappy and a waste of your time to read. Enjoy!
Within the walls of the rectangular prism that was the local foods mart, the tired and thankless grunts forged out their union friendly livings. The majority of the people behind the register were high school students with the occasional 30-something and the rare retiree. Many of the registers complained about their “91” status. Obviously the Customer Service Rep’s were too busy with their team huddles, usual corporate propaganda, and ensuring the required state regulation consent forms were filed properly. The intercom was overworked with pleads for 21’s and 90’s. There was even the occasional code 18. Till’s were filling quickly, and the ever present SCOT light was blinking red. Posters all over the register lanes were constant reminders to the checkers of B.O.B, Eight is great, and Strive for five. Constant requests for the extreme value filled the air with the usual angry response that “if they wanted it they would have found it in the aisle.” Customer loyalty cards weren’t readily given and the mentally vacant employee would rather type in the number than to call for the floor card which the already busy management was already occupied with. Floor coverage requests were left unheeded. Yes, it was just another Sunday morning at the local foods mart.
Within the walls of the rectangular prism that was the local foods mart, the tired and thankless grunts forged out their union friendly livings. The majority of the people behind the register were high school students with the occasional 30-something and the rare retiree. Many of the registers complained about their “91” status. Obviously the Customer Service Rep’s were too busy with their team huddles, usual corporate propaganda, and ensuring the required state regulation consent forms were filed properly. The intercom was overworked with pleads for 21’s and 90’s. There was even the occasional code 18. Till’s were filling quickly, and the ever present SCOT light was blinking red. Posters all over the register lanes were constant reminders to the checkers of B.O.B, Eight is great, and Strive for five. Constant requests for the extreme value filled the air with the usual angry response that “if they wanted it they would have found it in the aisle.” Customer loyalty cards weren’t readily given and the mentally vacant employee would rather type in the number than to call for the floor card which the already busy management was already occupied with. Floor coverage requests were left unheeded. Yes, it was just another Sunday morning at the local foods mart.
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